Diary of a Dark Angel
by LuckyLand
Summary: Dark Pit begins to document his suffering in a "journal" and tells some interesting tales about his everyday life. Follow the Emo angel, Dark Pit, on his daily adventures of trying to fit in, stand out, make new friends, and most importantly: keep his not-so-stable family together! (Rated T because I don't think this story is that intense).
1. Chapter 1

**Friday 11:43 p.m.**

Today was bad.

Really bad.

Like Donkey Kong vs. Little Mac bad.

Like Master Hand and Crazy Hand Bad.

Like worse than anything I could ever imagine.

Love was in the air… for the Goddess of light and I saw her and her boyfriend doing it in her room.

I'm pretty sure I'm scared for life now but yes, I will relive the horrible moments to write it down in this book so that when I die, people will know the suffering I endured in this world. (if you're violating my diary, enjoy this sickening tale).

I heard noises.

Strange noises.

High pitched screeches.

Moans.

Groans.

Agony.

Rustling.

Begging of some sort.

Shame.

The walls had a steady beat of being pounded on. I thought to myself it sounded like Magnus was playing Fire Emblem again (that's a story for another time). I didn't' care what was happening to Palutena, it's just that the noise was keeping me awake. I knew that it was a bad idea to go check on the goddess (because for all I know, she could be torturing some poor unfortunate soul in there) but Pit said that I needed to come with him otherwise he wouldn't let me sleep. As much as I didn't want to help him I didn't want him saying "Pitto!" all night either. I'd rather go with the banging walls. So Pit and I made out way to the front of Palutena's door. When I was about to knock, Pit wanted to chicken out. He said we shouldn't be bothering "Lady Palutena" at this hour. (Why the fuck did you say we should check on her then)? I told him that we weren't going to stop till we found out what was happening (not that I gave a shit. I just wanted to sleep). I tried to open it but it was locked. The sounds stopped when I tried to open the door. All sounds stopped accept from a gasp for the woman we were trying to help and a small snicker. The laugh didn't sound ANYTHING like Palutena which threw me off and scared Pit. Pit seemed to be even more concerned about the other voice in the room. So Pit decided to ask a series of questions to the Goddess:

Are you okay?

Is someone else in there with you?

Do you need help?

What are you doing?

(Which was asked by me) Could you keep it down?

Silence.

Followed by more silence.

Finally, Palutena answered the questions (the wall banging seemed to have started half way through her first sentence).

Palutena: "Yes Pit… Ah! I–I'm fine!"

(No Response)

Palutena: "No I don't!" (Other voice (almost inaudible): "Oh yes she does…")

(No Response)

(No Response)

Whether or not Palutena was lying and wasn't responding didn't matter to me. She said she was fine and that gave me the okay to go to sleep. Pit seemed unconvinced but came back to our room anyways.

And then there was silence…

…

 _Silence over…_

Once again, the moans, groans, and wall bashing continued and Pit bothered me into getting up one last time. I wanted to get my staff but was too tired to make an effort so we both found ourselves walking back to the door to Lady Palutena's room. This time, I wasn't wasting any time with asking questions. I place a banana in front of the door and stepped back. Pit looked at me with a confused look.

…3…

…2…

…1…

In an instant, Expand Dong—I mean— Donkey Kong had rammed the door down in his sleep and took the banana from where it was and left. Thank Game & Watch that people like Donkey Kong existed. Coming all the way from the jungle to Skyworld just for one banana. We looked into the room to check what the heck was going on in the room.

That's when we saw it.

 _The horror…_

We saw Palutena, naked, laying with Demon Lord Ghiriham, who was also naked, in between her legs and facing her. She and the demon were panting heavily. It's not hard to imagine what they were doing in there. The following happened that night:

Two people vomiting.

One person's eyes burning.

An angel fainted.

A Goddess crying that this was "A misunderstanding!"

A dark angel that had never wanted to die more in all his life.

A Goddess that was struggling for words (and breath).

A damn good night for the Demon Lord.

A dark angel that won't be sleeping for a while.

~Bruh, Dark Pit~


	2. Chapter 2

**Saturday 12:59** **p.m.**

Lady Palutena called Pit and I into her room.

Awkward.

That was one word that could describe the feeling in the room.

Palutena clearly knew that we knew that she was "having fun" last night but out of the two of us, Pit seemed to be taking it a lot heavier. He immediately asked Palutena to tell him why she was… with the Demon Lord.

More silence.

Palutena explained what happened as a "divine intervention" (whatever the hell that meant). But Pit didn't believe it and neither did I. Lady Palutena told us not to worry about what happened and not to tell anyone about what happened. Pit was reluctant, but agreed. I, on the other hand, am really intent on telling the one person who would listen: Kirby.

Kirby is my best (and only) friend. He and I started out as enemies (well, at least I saw him as an enemy, he saw me as a friend). He wouldn't leave me alone so later on I just started to accept his company and soon got attached to him being there.

One day, Kirby wasn't with me and it really did scare me that he wasn't there. The cute little guy makes me feel hopeful. Even though he doesn't speak at all, Kirby makes up for it by being a great listener. I have TONS of problems in my life and he's willing to listen to all of them with no trouble at all. The one day he wasn't there I went to go look for him. At one point I saw a warp star crashing from the sky and almost got a heart attack.

It was Kirby.

He was going to crash.

I ran as fast as I could go through the town and into Smashvile, where Kirby was going to land. When I got there, he'd already crashed. I ran to him and threatened him that if he died, I would never forgive him. I found myself crying over him. But in the end, he just got up and smiled at me. I hugged him while threatening him but something told me Kirby saw right

through my act. I didn't want to lose the only person I had in this world. The only brother I ever had.

And then shooting stars.

Crashing into Smashvile.

Well shit.

Whatever the hell Kirby was doing, it was really ballsy.

The mayor of Smashvile, Villager, began to evacuate all the inhabitants in order to protect them from the falling stars.

Kirby dragged me the hell out of there. I didn't bother asking what he did in space. I figured it wasn't important (no one was hurt = not important). Besides, The Roost wasn't even harmed so it was all fine. Ever since then, our friendship has grown stronger than ever.

Well, that's all for now…

~Dark Pit~


	3. Chapter 3 (Entry 3)

**Saturday 4:34 p.m.**

Today, Kirby and I went to The Roost, a coffee shop that's pretty popular in Smashville. Team Star Fox comes there a lot to debrief missions and stuff. They also get discounts on coffee because they know the owner, Brewster. I bought Kirby hot chocolate and myself black coffee. I'm not a pansy like Robin when it comes to how sweet, sour, or whatever my drink is. As we sat down, Shulk came and sat next to us and motioned Lucina and Robin to join us.

Kirby didn't mind.

I minded (Lucina and Robin that is. Shulk is okay I guess).

Robin minded a lot by the looks of it.

Lucina minded.

Shulk didn't mind.

Regardless, we all were sitting at the same table. That ruined my plan of trying to tell Kirby something important. But Kirby continued to push me until I finally told him about my "mom" and the Demon Lord.

Kirby (as expected) didn't understand, which was okay. After all, Kirby is only a baby (at least that's what Meta Knight said).

Shulk (who was eavesdropping) asked how I responded to the situation. I honestly didn't know what to say. I thought a cool guy like Shulk would just be sitting here because there weren't any more seats. But he seemed to be concerned so I gave him the honest answer.

I don't care.

But then Shulk told me that the white clad Demon Lord could become my dad if my mom really liked him. Did I want that to happen?

 _Now_ I care.

The thought of some creepy white demon for a dad sent shivers up my spine. After seeing how ruthlessly he screwed "mom," I didn't want to think of how he would raise me. It doesn't matter who raises Pit, he'll always be a loser, a wannabe Link, and straight up annoying. Seriously, I think I'm the better Pit.

Shulk said he'd help out as much as he could as he bought us all drinks. I understood that Shulk wanted to help (even though he didn't know the situation that well) and I was willing to let him.

I just wanted to know why.

Because a lot in people in town would just walk away or say that it doesn't matter to them.

Shulk's response made me think I wasn't so alone after all.

He said he was doing it to because he wanted to help a friend.

And that's when Robin started to be an asshole.

Fucking Robin goes on to start saying that Shulk doesn't even know me and that he should be more concerned with making friends with other people. People that aren't emo. (That and he started bitching about how his coffee is too bitter to which Kirby drank it for him).Who the fuck did Robin think he was? I really wanted to kick Robin so hard in the balls that they'd come out his mouth, but then I told myself to calm down and reevaluate the problem. In the end, I told Robin exactly what I felt about him in response.

"What friends do you have other than Shulk and Lucina, bookworm?"

Kirby at this point was trying to calm me down and Lucina and Shulk were asking Robin to calm down but it was no use. I was pissed and so was he. Robin and I continued to argue with one another until finally Roy intervened (and thank Game & Watch he was on my side). Roy laid down the fact that Shulk was his own human being and could make his own friends and that Robin should back off. He also questioned Robin of why he just didn't accept me being a friend.

He gave no answer.

Well, it didn't matter if he gave an answer.

I can be emo if I want, bookworm, and there isn't shit you can do about it.

Roy went even further to say that he would be my friend. (Because of today I feel a little less empty on the inside).

At the end of the day, Shulk invited me over to his place on Thursday and Roy said he'd be there so I guess I'll bring Kirby with me. Sonic and Little Mac are also coming over so I guess I'll see what they're like. Lucina has yet to speak to me, but was in fact talking a lot to Shulk.

P.S. (Rumor has it that Shulk and Lucina are dating… maybe that's why Robin's so pissed. Shulk gets to hit that and all he gets to hit is all the wrinkly old ladies that want to be with him. Roy, you're such a good friend for telling me this).

Well, that's all for now…

~Dark Pit~


	4. Chapter 4

**Sunday 6:40 p.m.**

Everyday, the inhabitants of Skyworld join together for a prayer to the "Goddess".

What the people don't know is that the "Goddess" had betrayed her people by committing a heinous crime.

She committed a crime of Lust.

A sin that can be forgiven.

But that's not the reason it's such a heinous crime.

She committed said act with the Demon Lord.

That's where stuff started to get bad.

Things got even worse for me today…

When Palutena came into Skyworld, she looked like she was about ready to kill someone.

She asked both of us who had told on her and who did they tell.

Oh shit.

Somebody snitched.

Ms. Pac Man apparently figured out (probably through Sonic, who got the info from Roy. Damnit Roy.) and started to hassle her about it. What Ms. Pac Man didn't know was who she was with, and that's where things started to get hairy. The women of Nintendo (in addition to Ms. Pac Man) started to ask who it was. When Palutena refused to answer, Peach decided to go around town and ask all the guys until she got the answer. (What a bitch…) To make matters worse, the Fem. Wii Fit Trainer decided to help Peach out. (Why do you feel the need to ruin other people's lives)?

Thank Game & Watch I sent that text to all my friends to stop telling people. The only other person who was needs to know is Little Mac, no one else. Either way, my "mom's" life is over. The Goddess of light, the most pure of all deities… slept with a demon.

Something tells me that Link figured this out because he's been watching me like a hawk. Everytime I walk down the street, he stares me down until I'm out of sight. It was "mom" that slept with him. I don't even know the guy.

Speaking of "that" guy, I wonder how he's dealing with all this. At the very least, he must be getting an ass kicking from Ganondorf or Demise… or both.

Maybe they don't know yet.

Maybe he's hiding from them.

Maybe they don't give a damn.

Maybe he loved "mom".

Maybe not.

Maybe he doesn't give a damn.

 _I_ give a damn.

Because for fuck's sake he could end up being my dad.

Pit swore on his life that he didn't tell anyone (because Pit's an ass kisser to Palutena). He then went on to tell her that it was probably me because I'm a "cruel evil person". I tried my best to make as little eye contact as possible. (Maybe if Pit wasn't such a snitch, I could've gotten away with it). As a last resort, I tried to convince "mom" that maybe it was the Demon Lord that told people. But something tells me that was the last thing that Palutena wanted to hear. If looks could kill, I would've been annihilated.

Palutena blamed me (since she couldn't blame Ghirahim).

She threw a fit.

She chewed me out. (Pit did too but I really didn't care for his words).

Cursed.

Screamed.

Then she just started crying.

Shit.

Palutena's in the room.

Fuck.

~Dark Pit~

 **Sunday 7:09 p.m.**

Just as expected, I got chewed the fuck out. (Again). In addition, I got grounded.

No Kirby.

No T.V.

No Phone.

No Friends.

No Music.

No going outside.

No nothing until Wednesday. (Thank Game & Watch she didn't extend it to Thursday, I really want to come to Shulk's place).

It wasn't all bad. I mean, aside from Palutena's constant yelling, there wasn't anything taken away that I actually needed.

Except Kirby, friends, sitting and thinking about life on Mt. Cornet, and music.

Damnit.

Pit is REALLY mad at me for slandering the "good" name of Lady Palutena. (When a "Goddess" does pole dances with her staff, she's NOT a good girl). He went on a rant about how I was just a troublemaker and blah, blah, blah. I honestly didn't care at that point. I know that what happened was bad.

But that's PALUTENA'S fault.

Not mine. (I know I told, but if I didn't Ghirahim would).

If anything, Pit's just pissed off because Ghirahim took Palutena and wrecked her so well.

Even now that I'm writing this, Pit is in the room looking at me with an ("I'm so lonely") "mad" face on.

He's asking what I'm writing about.

Something.

He asks me what I have to say for myself.

Damn, I'm pretty.

He calls me a jerk.

I call him a pussy for not being able to curse at me even though he wanted to.

He tries to throw a pillow at me.

It misses.

He goes to sleep, knowing that he failed hard.

It's about 8:20… seeing as I have nothing else to do, Goodnight.

That's all for now…

~Dark Pit~


	5. Chapter 5

**Wednesday 10:44 a.m.**

Today marks the final day of my grounding. (THANK GAME & WATCH) I can't stand being around my "family". I can leave this terrible place and chill with friends tomorrow. I wonder what Kirby's been up to while I've been gone. It sucks that I can't be with my friends right now.

Also, I can't describe the feeling, but I feel like there's someone else in the house other than the three of us. Normally, I would suspect it to be Viridi sneaking in and chilling out.

Who's Viridi? Some Link fangirl who thinks she's all that and a bag of chips.

Yeah… sure…

Viridi is allowed to come to the temple whenever she pleases and also insists that she watch her lacky i.e. me. But for one thing, I never agreed to being her servant and never will. The fact that she treats me like I owe her something is beyond me.

But I don't think it's her that's sharing the house with us.

Unless Viridi wears lavender boxers that is…

I found them on Pit's bed and immediately started to judge him. Pit said that the boxers weren't his and I knew that (Pit still wears briefs instead of boxers) but I just wanted to tease him. I made him leave the room with all my taunts and then I got down to thinking… Who the hell owns this?! The first thought that came to mind was Magnus, but then again it probably wasn't him. Phosphora also came to mind but then why was it lavender? If they were hers, they would've been blue, right? It couldn't have been Viridi's or Palutena's. Viridi claims to be a grown ass "woman" and yet she still wears panties with strawberries on them. ( I do the laundry on Fridays, that's how I know this). Palutena's panties… are very plain. Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Purple, Pink, White, Black, ect. colors of the rainbow make up the variety of her underwear.

They're not mine.

Period.

All my underwear is black.

And Grey…

And ONE pink (because Kirby got it for me and I couldn't turn him down).

The conclusion I came up with is that the Demon Lord must've gone home commando (Game & Watch, I hope I'm wrong, I touched them)...

Well, that's all for now (I'm being called by my "mom")...

~Dark Pit~

 **Wednesday 10:57 a.m.**

Oh my Game & Watch… that did not just happen. The freaking Demon Lord is in my house… and Palutena… what she said… She's joking right?!

Pray.

Pray to someone.

Pray to anyone.

All hell is breaking loose in the living room.

Pit is trying to fight Ghirahim.

Ghirahim is kicking Pit's ass.

Palutena is trying to explain to Pit what's going on.

Viridi was in the custody of Captain Falcon.

And I'm freaking the fuck out.

WHY IN THE HELL IS HE GOING TO BE LIVING WITH US!?

Mr. Game & Watch, please help us.

This morning started out so simple and ended in shambles… Palutena attempts making breakfast for us in the morning, then _he_ appeared at the end of the table, Pit and I panic, Palutena explains that the Demon Lord will be living here with us, Pit attacks the demon, Captain Falcon comes in with Viridi and just looks in horror what's happening, I take my cereal upstairs and hide like a little bitch, and…

That's it.

I can't deal with this right now.

~Dark Pit~

 **Wednesday 11: 53 a.m.**

So, here's what happened…

First, Palutena stated that the Demon Lord would be living with us.

Why?

Because of their growing relationship.

Pit cried.

I called bull shit.

That bastard is after something… and when I figure out, I'm kicking him the fuck out.

Second, the lavender boxers… those were Ghirahim's.

Now I need to bleach my hands…

Third, Viridi has been required by the Nintendo council to stay under Palutena's roof because of her multiple accounts of "disturbing the peace" in Hyrule was what Captain Falcon told us. (Viridi has been caught several times stalking Link, apparently). Which means now, not only do I have to live with Viridi, but she also can be considered my sister.

Fuck me.

Forth (and possibly the worst thing that's happened today), Palutena had the balls to tell us to start calling that pale piece of shit "dad".

Hell no.

I don't take calling you "mom" seriously.

So what the fuck makes you think I'll call this queer "dad"?

All I wanted was to have a good day…

This is why I can't have nice things.

When will tomorrow come?

Pray for me.

~Dark Pit~

 **Wednesday 2:17 p.m.**

I guess I'm fucked.

Scratch that.

I KNOW I'm fucked.

I was hoping that the Demon Lord put some sort of charm on Palutena which was why she was acting crazy and accepting him into the house.

But it turns out I was wrong.

She loves him.

She wants to taste him, feel him, breathe him, hold him, the whole nine yards.

How did the truth slap me in the face?

Well, I started to spy on this bastard in hopes of getting him the fuck out of here as soon as possible. (Pit was sent to Dr. Mario's clinic, recovering from his ass kicking and Viridi went to go spy on Link, so I was on my own). I came when he was monologuing to himself about his plan. The plan to first take over Skyworld and then Hyrule (and then the world even).

He's using "mom".

Only I can do that.

This prick has to be stopped.

I was hiding behind one of the many statues in the temple and listening intently to every word he said. Later, Palutena entered the room, but something was different. She was acting shy (which is more rare that Wario working out), avoiding eye contact, and was stuttering so badly. She was trying to ask for something, but the more she tried, the redder her face would become. Then it hit me:

Did she want that D? (I know. I'm a strange kid).

Ghirahim began to approach her.

She noticed and started to stutter even more.

I felt like I was watching an x-rated movie and almost gagged.

The two were centimeters away from one another.

Ghirahim grabbed her chin and was silently looking at her emerald eyes.

Palutena was blushing so hard. She couldn't bring herself to say anything else.

I wanted to leave… but at the same time didn't. I wanted to see how this would end. (A decision I would soon regret).

Palutena pushed herself forward for the kiss to begin (I was strong enough to watch), surprising the Demon Lord. For a split second, it felt like the two were just in love legitimately. A pure couple of love birds. Too bad that's not true.

Game & Watch, if I wasn't scarred for life then, I certainly am now.

Slobber.

Whines.

Groping.

Finally, it ended with Palutena dropping to her knees and looking up at the Demon Lord, who had a… gentle and meaningful smile on. (Something in me really wanted to believe that this was true. Maybe it's just the Kirby side of me speaking). He then kneeled down and whispered something in her ear and Palutena protested saying "No! Not again!", "You won't be gentle!", and "It was painful last time, Ghira…".

O_O

Oh my fuck.

First of all, "Ghira"!? What the fuck?

Second, how the hell did he talk you into doing… that the first time?

I shuddered because of the fact that I was watching this lovey-dovey crap. But I also realized something: Ghirahim knew someone was watching them.

How did I figure that out?

The fucker looked directly in my direction with a sly smile, lick his lips (earning another shudder from me), and began nipping at Palutena's ear.

Ghirahim proceeded to whisper something else in her ear which caused a harsh blush to appear on Palutena's face and got the response of Palutena saying "Don't say things like that! Someone could be watching."

That's when Ghirahim broke out laughing and I knew exactly why.

 _I_ was watching.

And he told Palutena so, which cause her face to resemble a tomato. That and be really pissed with me.

"Dark Pit! Go to your r—" was all she could say before being silenced by a kiss. (I swear, he tried to either get me to leave or purposely making me feel perverted).

I left at that point. I felt sick to my stomach. Love always makes me sick. But besides that, Ghirahim is using Palutena to get what he wants… right? I didn't know for sure but it seemed like it. And if anyone is taking over Skyworld, it's going to be me. In order to make him leave, I have to get proof that he's doing that. Otherwise, Palutena will get mad at me.

Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

~Dark Pit~


	6. Chapter 6

**Thursday 6:49 p.m.**

Today was day one of living with Ghirahim and Viridi and I have to say that it, without a doubt, sucked balls. First, Viridi spent (and I shit you not) 3 fucking hours in the goddamn shower (Ghirahim spent 1). Then, every fucking time he gets the chance, Ghirahim does something romantic with "mom" right in front of me, Pit, and Viridi. Keep that to your goddamn self! Pit sometimes would leave the room altogether and Viridi would have the audacity to have a nose bleed. Which made me wonder, if they were our real mom and dad, would she still nosebleed over it? Third, "daddy dearest" goes on this rant that if we don't call him "father", then we will address him as "Lord Ghirahim".

Fuck no.

Later on, Palutena called me into her room and asked me to tell her EVERYTHING I saw yesterday when I was spying. I didn't tell her about the takeover of Skyworld. I'd be doing that shortly after I got proof (which is not happening as fast as I thought). I saw… her and "dad" kissing (something that cannot be unseen). From what I said, she then asked me what I heard. Being the complete asshole I am, I told Palutena what Ghirahim had whispered into her ear.

She slapped the fuck out of me.

As her "son" I had no right talking about her body in that way. I pointed out that she wanted me to tell her what I heard only to be slapped again. Palutena then told me that out of everything, I could NOT EVER tell Pit. She said that it would devastate him.

I didn't make any promises.

(I told him right before I left the house, Palutena's going to kill me).

Then I left for Shulk's place.

Or should I say Shulk, Robin, and Roy's place?

Yes, all three of them live together in the same house. They're roommates. (Shulk and Roy have to deal with Robin's horse shit every single day. That sucks).

On the way, I met up with Kirby, Sonic the Hedgehog, The Bruiser from Bronx (Little Mac), and a girl named Mona Pizza. Mona seemed to tease Mac a lot about his size, but instead of beating her to death (like he would for anyone else), he would just look away. Occasionally, he would yell back but most of the time, he held his peace. (Had Mac taken anger management? Or maybe there's something I don't know. Or maybe… Mona is talking about another kind of height). Sonic on the other hand, was hollering his favorite song _Sonic Heroes._ (As much as I hate to admit it, that song is pretty catchy).

Kirby was really glad to see me. He rode on my head for the time being, squeaking little "Poyos!" as we passed. Lucina sooned joined us (by force due to Mac and Sonic). But she was accompanied by Prince Luma and Lubba, two of her trillions of step-brothers. As it turns out, Kirby and Prince Luma are the greatest of friends and were happy to see each other. Together, Prince Luma's chimes and Kirby's "Poyos" made the cutest duo. Phosphora soon joined us and was surprised to see that I was here too. Phosphora was with Dillon, Saki, Takamaru, and Matthew. Dillon said his usual "Howdy!", Saki went straight to annoying Mac about his size, Matthew said hello to us, and Takamaru (who still can't speak a word of English) said "Konbanwa".

When we entered, we immediately saw Roy, Robin, and Shulk playing Mario Kart 8. (Robin was in 8th, Roy was in 5th, and Shulk was in 2nd).

Shulk was really glad that all of us came.

So there we were.

Hanging out.

I had a lot of fun.

Mac and Sonic are CRAZY for the song, _Turn Down for What_. It came on while we were playing super smash brothers and the two of them started busting moves. Mona began to laugh and soon joined them. Sonic and Mac are the greatest of friends to my understanding. Mona said they do everything together ( _everything?_ Hm…). You just can't separate them. They're the basic definition of best friends. (I kinda envy them, having someone who has their back. But then again, I have Kirby so I guess I know how that feels).

Speaking of Kirby, he and Prince Luma were dancing together to Butter Building.

Because of all their dancing, I soon started to dance with them.

Hell, everyone (except Takamaru and Robin) were dancing later on. Robin (being a boring son of a bitch) was reading and Takamaru was watching. Takamaru is heavily influenced by his traditional Japanese heritage, so he honestly didn't know what we were doing, but liked to see that everyone was having fun.

Poor guy… we should modernize him.

Lucina was trying her best to talk to everyone. Though she's so serious, she actually has a lot to say. She's not as uptight as I thought she might be. She's actually kinda funny in a weird kinda way.

Roy and I were telling really dirty jokes (another reason why the two of us are great friends) much to Robin's disliking. Shulk was laughing his ass off at some of the jokes and others made him blush.

Matthew was talking to Dillon, Saki, Mona, Phosphora, Mac, and Sonic. Takamaru was talking, but in Japanese (thank Game & Watch Roy, Matthew, and Saki could understand him).

Oh, if only it could last.

Later on, Pit came in to tell me to leave. Pit would've been with us, but he had to deal with the business Palutena gave him (as in deal with the new dodongos that keep coming to Skyworld).

I said my goodbyes and left. Little did I know that Kirby was following me home. (He's literally in my room right now).

Well, that's all for now. (Kirby's sleepy).

~Dark Pit~ Poyo!

 **Friday 10:52 p.m.**

Worst. day. EVER!

First of mother fucking all, Palutena has the balls to tell me that we're spending time together as a "family".

Fuck no.

I don't give a shit about you.

I don't give a fuck about you.

If I gave a shit about you, then I might've given a fuck about you.

But I don't, so I don't give a fuck.

I don't want to spend time with Jackass, Bitchy the nature goddess, The goddess of Bitches, and Lord Queer. I'd rather be with sweet little Kirby. At least he dosen't fuck around.

So yeah, today was the equivalent of a day in hell (something I'm sure Ghirahim knows about).

Pit's whining.

Viridi's whining.

Palutena's bitching.

Ghirahim's bull shit.

My life. (Sucking as usual).

Fuck everything.

That's it for now… (Kirby wants me to play him a song on my guitar).

~Dark Pit~

 **Friday 11:40 a.m.**

That bastard is blackmailing me.

I'll kill him.

He's fucking blackmailing me.

Fucking creeper.

Last night, I was playing Kirby my very own remix of Gerudo Valley with my folk guitar. Kirby was enjoying it and soon began to dance his little Kirby dance. I was getting caught up in the moment and was jumping and making up lyrics as I played.

"Look at the field. Now raise your shield. Enemies look at the sword you wield. A hero born to save Hyrule from demise… "

"Seven years, taken away. It's up to you to save the day. Everything will be okay, cause he'll die…"

(There's more, but I just thought I'd write the beginning).

When I finished, Kirby and I were dancing the night away and being as carefree as ever.

The moment I turn around I saw _him_ , with a camera, standing in the doorway.

 _Fucking Ghirahim._

I'd never been so pissed in all my life. I yelled at him to delete the goddamn video (thank Game & Watch the others were asleep). I found myself holding back tears as Ghirahim started to laugh at my helplessness. Kirby began to sniffle, meaning he was going to cry if I did. I hated to see Kirby cry (that and it's against the law to make Kirby cry. You need to pay a fine if you do.) so I tried my best to keep it in (for later).

This bastard goes on to say that he thought it was "cute" and that he never knew that I wanted to be a musician. Then, he asks the million dollar question: "Does your mother know you have a folk guitar in your possession?"

I lied and said yes. The reason Palutena ( & Pit and Viridi for that matter) don't know that I can play is because I only play when I'm sure they're asleep, I hide it underneath my clothes in my closet, and I even go so far as to say I hate folk music. If they were to figure out, then Palutena would use it as a means to punish me, as in take it away.

I _really_ don't want that.

Without that, I have nothing.

Ghirahim snickered and told me that since the others already knew, he could tell the goddess I was practicing, correct? (Game & Watch! I wanted to snap his neck!) I try to back him out of doing that. He asked if I were lying to him, in which case, he'd break my guitar. (The bastard then uses magic to take it from my hands and put it into his. I never wanted to cry more in my life).

I fessed up, knowing it was futile to lie to him again.

Ghirahim then cuts all the strings and gives me the guitar, with a shit eating smile on (Fuck you!).

Kirby hid under the bed (because I was motioning him to do so). Tears were streaming down my face. I didn't know what was worse… crying for this sadistic fuck, scaring Kirby, or my busted guitar strings. I scream in rage at him.

"FUCK YOU!"

Ghirahim's smile quickly fades and I realize that I have become error. He grabs my neck and proceeds to choke me.

I thought this was it.

My final moments.

As everything began to blur, he dropped me on the ground and watched as I tried to breathe. I'll never forgive and forget the words that asshole said next and my responses:

"I am your father. You will listen, you tell the truth, you will respect me, and you will obey. There isn't anything you can do to deter me from this place. Now then, apologize for your foul mouth and perhaps… I'll fix you _lute._ "

Lute?

LUTE?!

I'll kill him.

I'll kill him and burn his corpse.

I'll kill him and piss in his skull.

Unfortunately, I apologized and Ghirahim was true to his word. However, he went on to say that he wondered what would happen if he released the video of me playing my guitar.

No.

Please, No.

Before I could even say anything, he disappeared in an array of diamonds.

My life is over.

Now excuse me while I cry.

~Dark Pit~


	7. Chapter 7

**Thursday 9:21 p.m.**

Okay, so I really need to write this in now.

A LOT of crazy shit has gone down in the past few days and I just haven't gotten the time to write it all down.

So here's the gist you may've missed:

Shulk and Lucina are now a thing.

(Surprisingly) Mona and Mac are something. (At least that's what Sonic told me).

Robin is acting salty.

"Mom" is lovestruck.

Pit is stupid.

Viridi's lame.

Kirby's new restaurant.

I gotta go to school soon. (Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-)

Oh, and let's not forget the greatest pain in my ass since the name "Pitto": Ghirahim.

He still hasn't posted my video up on Smashblog. Thank Game & Watch for that. But he still threatens to post it if I don't kiss ass like I'm suppose too. Now, I'm my own dad's bitch.

Fucking great.

That's all I can write (Daddy wants me for something. I hope he tells me to drop his ass).

~Dark Pit~

 **Saturday 2:47 a.m.**

So… I have bad feelings about today.

So first, I'll talk about the Good.

It all started at Kirby's Eat Pot (Kirby's new and highly popular restaurant) YESTERDAY (Mind you, that I am writing this at 3 in the goddamn morning thanks to my stupid "dad"). Kirby gave me a tour of the place and I have to say, it's pretty freaking cool. (It has a Jello trampoline and a life-size chocolate fountain). I even had a meal there and almost cried. (The food tastes like heaven. And no, I don't mean Skyworld. I mean actual heaven). Kirby gave me the first meal free, since I was a good friend.

Which brings me to a bad point in the day…

I lost my wallet…

I haven't told Palutena…

I'm so fucked…

I remember leaving it in my room and then seeing that it was gone! I swear, if Pit took it… hell, if ANYONE took it, they're dead.

I'm glad Kirby gave me the meal free.

 _Lucky me._

After the glorious meal, I chatted with Shulk and Roy (screw Robin). Shulk apparently is enjoying his little connection with Lucina and I can see why.

Lucina is kind of pretty.

Just not my type.

I like girls who… well, are like me: Doesn't take shit from anyone, has a dirty sense of humor, like to be alone, and of course, has a sprinkle of emo in them.

There are not many girls my age like that in Smashington Lane though…

I guess I'm not going to be dating any time soon.

Maybe I should change what I find attractive.

After all, a woman with a good face as well as a body would be nice enough. (Oh Game & Watch, "dad" is rubbing off of me).

Which also brings me back to a negative point in the TODAY.

Why am I writing this so early?

Shouldn't I be sleeping in my nice, cozy bed?

According to Ghirahim: "No."

"Daddy Dearest" commands me to "earn my rights" (whatever the hell that means) and tells me (at 1:50 a.m.) to get dressed and ready to go.

Go where and why now?

Can't I just sleep till morning?

The angry sun (from Super Mario Bros. 3) isn't even awake yet.

What's so important?

How do I "earn my rights"?

Apparently, we're going to Hyrule field. (I already have a bad feeling about this).

Let's hope he doesn't kill me (or worse).

~Dark Pit~

 **Friday 5:00 a.m.**

It hurts… so bad…

Everything aches…

My head is pounding…

My arms are scratched…

My legs are swelling…

It hurts…

What the hell am I even training for?

Dad is just finding an excuse for kicking my ass.

Screw him!

(Dad starts talking shit).

Excuse me while I go kill him.

~Dark Pit~

 **Friday 5:55 a.m.**

Damn it!

Why?!

Why do I keep getting my ass handed to me?

He's just keeps beating the crap out of me!

To top it all off he has the balls to tell me "I won't entertain myself with trash. If you really wish to win, then I suggest you get stronger, Pitto."

Is he saying I'm weak!?

No.

No.

Freaking No!

I KNOW I'm stronger then some gay white demon piece of shit!

No more games!

I want a rematch!

~Dark Pit~

 **Friday 6:17 a.m.**

 **Dearest** Pitto, if you're reading this, probably means three things:

One, you've finally woken up. I gave you quite the beating now didn't I?

Two, Your diary has "mysteriously" fallen into my hands. Do not worry! If you're reading this now, it means that you have it now. I hope you're not mad at me! :)

And Thirdly, you're very upset. Not only did I give you a beating, but I still have the video, the satisfaction of beating you to a pulp, and the pleasure of writing an entry in your little diary. (I must say, the lies you've written about me are so exaggerated)!

But, I have decided on something.

I've deleted the video.

For what reason?

Well, I simply had no need for it. Not after I completely demolished your pride by beating you not once but twice in a training session. I think that alone is enough for me. After all, I am just a "sadistic fuck" aren't I? :)

As for your diary… well no use crying over spilt milk, right? I have already started writing after all!

The concern you have for you mother **is** something that I find irritating.

I'm **not** hurting her (in a bad way that is).

Please **don't** concern yourself with this matter.

It has nothing to do with you.

I have my reasons.

Taking over Hyrule just happens to be one of them.

Please don't think I'm doing this to be cruel.

Like I said, there's **nothing** you can do to make me leave.

My love for your mother is real.

It just so happens that I can use her assets at the same time.

Mutual benefit, yes?

Furthermore, don't think that this will be your **last** training session.

 _ **This is only the beginning.**_

Well, I've said all I need to.

Yours truly,

~Ghirahim㈎9~


	8. Chapter 8

**Saturday 6:56 p.m.**

You know what?!

Fuck you dad.

You're a worthless piece of shit and I hope you enjoy ruining my life!

You fuck! (I hope you're reading this! Am I exaggerating now, bitch?)

Also, don't EVER write in my diary again!

Asshole!

~Dark Pit~

 **Sunday 8:02 p.m.**

So it turns out, I left my wallet at Kirby's house. Meta Knight was kind enough to give it to me. I'm glad he found it and not someone else.

That could've been a problem.

There are A LOT of dishonest people in Smashington Lane.

Anyway, today I went to chill with Little Mac, Sonic, and Roy (Shulk was with Lucina and Robin was "tagging along" with them). The three of us talked a lot about stupid things (because that's how we role). Eventually, Mac had to leave (probably because of Mona). So then it was just Sonic, Roy, and I. But then, Megaman informed Sonic that he had to come home due to the fact that Ms. Pac Man had locked Ryu in the basement again. So then, it was just me and Roy. Roy asked me how my week was.

I straight up blew up all over him.

I made this huge rant about my life to him.

To top it all off, I ranted about that worthless, ugly, piece of ungodly shit known as Ghirahim.

Roy was speechless for a little bit.

But then he said some stuff I didn't want to hear.

Stuff about Ghirahim "loving me no matter what" and "acceptance".

I was really upset about it and Roy could tell, so he told me to head home and think about it. He'd be there to help every step of the way. That's why he's my friend. He's there for me.

But not as much as Kirby.

Kirby is (literally) with me until the end. I treasure our friendship. It almost makes me sad I have to go home sometimes.

Home is hell.

Period.

~Dark Pit~

 **Tuesday 7:23 p.m.**

So… we as a "family" had a talk today.

It (finally) came to Palutena's attention that dad was beating Pit and I on a daily basis and she chewed him out for that.

Finally, "mom" does something right.

But wait, it takes a turn for the worst.

Ghirahim says that he's simply "training us" and Palutena believes it.

*facepalm*

I complained my heart out to mom in order to get Ghirahim the fuck out. I even told her about the Hyrule plot.

But she didn't believe me.

Why do I even continue living?

What's the point if no one will listen?

My life is useless!

I'm ending it tomorrow…

I'll say goodby to my friends.

This is my last entry…

~Dark Pit~


	9. Chapter 9

**Monday 12:00 a.m.**

Well this it.

Goodbye world, you bitch.

~Dark Pit~

 **Tuesday 3:09 a.m.**

I tried...

and failed…

I can't do it.

Kirby will miss me. Hell, all my friends will miss me (maybe even Robin). I can't let them down. I can't let myself down.

I won't take the easy way out.

Heh, I guess Mr. McCloud was right.

"Taking your life takes a lot of strenghth. But those with enough strenghth can over come it." (Coolest teacher ever).

Dad… just… walked… in…

(Game & Fuck… )

~Dark Pit~

 **Tuesday 3:27 a.m.**

I crying a river.

Fucking dad comes in and instead of shitting all over me like he's suppose to, he gives me a godamn hug. The worst part being I hugged him back. I think he knew that I needed a hug.

Dad cares.

He's just scared of showing it.

I'm really starting to doubt how I'm looking at this.

Is dad really trying to take Hyrule?

Mom, Viridi, Pit, walked in too and Kirby woke up.

Hugs.

Nice, warm, hugs.

Group hugs.

I broke down and cried.

I'm really thankful.

Really.

~Dark Pit~

Pitto, if you kill yourself, you're killing us too. We simply won't stand for it. We love you. No matter how "fucked up" we maybe. Your reason for living is right here. To be here, with us. Remember, you're never alone Pitto. Mommy and Daddy will always be there for you.

Forever yours,

~Palutena & Ghirahim~


	10. Chapter 10

**Friday 3:47**

Guess what?

Schools starting!

Yay!

Do you have spirit?

Cause I sure as hell don't.

Why the hell do we even need to go to school? It's not like Smash is a game for the brain like Big Brain Academy. You're basically fighting people to the death, Nintendo style. So what's the big deal? Why have a school when the "students" are fighters?

That's so stupid.

Fuck you Mario.

But anyway, the fact that my dad agrees with me on this one is a milestone. In fact, he and Palutena got into an argument about how school is worthless. Unfortunately, in the end, Palutena won the argument (which sucks ass).

Pencils.

Faggots (teachers).

Dances (I'm not attending any of them).

Band (taking all my time).

Test and Projects (that will make me pull my hair out).

Standardized testing (that will give me white hairs).

All this bullshit I have to deal with for the dumbest of reasons. I can't deal with this shit right now. School is hell. Who the fuck wants to sit in a room for 8 hours listening to some asshole go on about algebra? When in the hell am I, a dark angel, going to need to know about the circumference of a circle with a radius of 36?

I have BIGGER things to deal with!

But of course, we can't forget all the assholes in the school.

Jocks.

Nerds.

Bitches.

Studs.

Geeks.

Goths.

Emos.

Goody two-shoes.

Ass kissers (A.K.A. Teacher's pets. A.K.A. Robin).

Idiots.

Weirdos.

"Popular" kids.

Plastic surgery wannabes (most pretty girls).

Anti-social outcasts.

Social butterflies (A.K.A. I can't seem to ever shut the fuck up).

Wise guys.

Bullies.

Wimps.

Over-achievers.

Control freaks.

Perverts.

I can think of three people for every category. What I'm praying for is that I'm in Mr. McCloud's homeroom. Fox is best teacher ever. When we finish early, we just can do whatever (as long as it's permitted by the school). He also understands his students. Not like Mr. Luigi.

He has absolutely no chill.

I pray to Game & Watch that I don't have him for homeroom. Otherwise, my school year will be the equivalent of a year in hell.

What also pisses me off is that a lot of people now just want to have a girlfriend or boyfriend in school to prove something to someone or something.

If that's not an attention whore, then I don't know what is. Maybe cheerleaders are closer but still. Who the hell would want a whiney bitch or bastard you barely know to be constantly grabbing your ass?

If a teacher caught you and your "honey" doing shit like that, then your ass would be grass at that point. For some reason, the school has a strict "No Public Display of Relationships" rule. Apparently, something really bad happened a few years ago which is what put that rule in motion (maybe someone decided to get freaky… I don't know). My point being, people need to keep that shit to themselves.

I don't give two fucks about you and your "girlfriend".

I can't even give ONE.

What sucks the most is that "mom" (for some ungodly reason) decided to put me and Pit into advanced classes.

Great! More work!

Thanks Mom! (You two-faced bitch).

Sonic, Mac, and Roy are sharing my pain. None of us want to go to school. But it's required (because of freaking Mario). Robin seems to actually like school.

This is why he'll always be a loser in my book.

NOBODY is supposed to like school.

I guess Robin is that one scrub who does.

Not even Kirby likes school.

So there's definitely something wrong with Robin.

Shulk and Lucina are indifferent about school. Sometimes (Never) it's good. Sometimes (Almost always) it's bad. Either way, they still need to go.

Well, I need to go get supplies with "mom" (even though they'll just get lost throughout the school year).

~Dark Pit~


	11. Chapter 11

**Saturday 10:45 a.m.**

Guess who's homeroom I have?

No really… guess.

Cause it's NOT Mr. McCloud.

It's not Mr. Luigi either (thank Game & Watch).

Nope. It's Ms. Rosalina.

So I guess that's okay.

What's NOT okay is that it's only been the first week of school and I already have 5 freaking projects. Why do I even need school? Fuck!

But anyway, in my last training session, I was able to kick my dad square in the face (and it felt hella good). I got the satisfaction of knocking him on his ass. Score one for Dark Pit, bitch. Unfortunately, I gave him a black eye on the eye that's always hidden behind his hair. I wanted it to be visible… you know, so that it would remind me that I have the potential to kick the shit out of him. It didn't last though. Dad kicked me straight in the balls… 7 times (hurt like a bitch). The first time, I fell on the floor and started to weep. I called my dad out for throwing a cheap shot at me.

But he was absolutely PISSED at the fact that I "made a dent on his perfect face".

He used magic to move my hands and then stomped on my balls 6 more times. It was super effective too…

After that, he left. He wasn't going to help me.

No.

He just left me to hold my balls for the rest of the day. I laid in the same spot the entire day, weeping and cursing. Kirby eventually came and dragged me to my room. Ghirahim came into the room later on. I was scared at first. I thought he came back with a vengeance. But instead he looked concerned. He said he had to talk to me about something.

This is where shit got so real so fast.

So "dad" first looks at Kirby, then sits down (I think he knew that I didn't want him to start something about Kirby). Then, he told me something that made me rethink my entire life: "Dark Pit, don't ever think that just because you're considered a bad guy means that you are truly a "bad guy", okay? I need you to promise me that."

Now that I think about it, Ghirahim and I have been having a lot of awkward "father son" moments. They suck. I sometimes want to tell him something but he's just doing this for Skyworld, right?

RIGHT?

I don't fucking know. I don't want to ask either. That would be beyond awkward. Maybe… just maybe… there is love in this cluster fuck of a family.  
Love… _Yeah right!_

~Dark Pit~

 **Monday 12:26 a.m.**

So I met girl today… and she's kinda cute…

Only problem being, she's caused me A LOT of issues today. (She didn't mean it but still).

Her name's Ashley. Ashely Robbins.

She has white hair, pretty black eyes, has a nicer body than most girls at my school (I checked her out, big deal.), and lives with her aunt, Jessica. (I asked about her parents… she almost cried. They're probably dead… I'm such an idiot!)

She's in my band class and plays guitar. She aspires to be a great guitarist. She loves music. When I saw her play, I had THAT moment.

You know? That moment where time seems to stop and you and the person you're looking at are the only people that matter. You know? Like in the movies?

Whatever. You don't need to know.

Anyway, she started playing a really nice Japanese song. From what she told me, the song was about someone you love who keeps getting farther and farther away from you to the point where they're gone.

Geez, and I thought I was depressing…

She asked me if I liked folk music. Acting on the idiocy I inherited from Pit, I blurted "Yes"! (Idiot!) She then asked if I liked music. My response?

"Freakin' love music!"

Kill me now… please.

Regardless, she wanted me to play a song for her.

I almost died.

She wanted me to play a song for her.

In the background, Mac and Sonic were giving me a thumbs up, trying to tell me that I could do this.

I played my theme (shut up I know it's cliche). Ashley seemed to be impressed. She asked if I play any other instruments. I do. The piano… kinda and the violin.

Once she heard piano, Ashley got excited and then asked if I knew the song _Merry Go Round of Life_.

I didn't unfortunately.

She decided to show me the song but so that in the future, I would play it with her, (Me?! Play with her?! I don't think my heart could take it... )

It was a beautiful waltz that she started playing. I was mesmerized. She really good. But then it hit me…

I CAN'T PLAY THAT! I'M NOT _THAT_ GOOD!

But then Matthew, who also happens to be the student council president, said that the song could be used for the upcoming Class of 20XX (I'm not kidding. That's what it's really called.) ball.

It couldn't be a simple dance.

 _No!_

It had to be a freaking ball with ballroom dancing.

Fuck _everyone_.

Matthew asked Ashley if she would be so kind as to play that song at the ball.

What did Ashley say?

"Only if you play with me on your violin, Dark Pit!" (She giggled too. How am I supposed to say no? I can't! She just unintentionally fucked me. Goddamnit!)

I wanted to say no (because I was scared that I would screw up. I'm better with guitar than violin), but Sonic and Mac insisted that everyone would be thrilled to hear the duet. It would be awesome! (I hate them _sooooooo_ much... )

Matthew wrote it down that the two of us would perform Merry Go Round of Life together (Game & Watch help me).

Ashley seemed pretty happy about it. I wasn't, but seeing her happy made me feel a little better.

I NEED to make sure I don't fuck this up!

Pray for me!

~Dark Pit~

 **Author's note: School sucks. I have no time to write! Bruh! But I still got this out! I didn't forget about you guys! :D Read & Review and Thank you for your time!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Friday 3:38 a.m.**

Ashley… makes me feel weird… and I like it.

I feel like she's my soulmate.

…

I'm such a hypocrite! In the last entry, I just got through saying how disgusting it was to see all these couples roaming the hallway at school, but now I'm no different! I can't help it!

I can't stop thinking about Ash… ( Holy shit! Am I seriously calling her a nickname now?!)

I'm such a FREAKING idiot!

I've been thinking about this a lot and… I don't know what to do about it. The other day, Kirby and I were walking down the street and I saw her helping Mr. Nook moving some boxes (she apparently works at Nook n' Way). She smiled (her smile is equivalent to Mr. Game & Watch's car, awesome) and waved at me.

Just seeing her smile at me sends goosebumps down my back. She's a really pretty girl… and on top of that, she plays my favorite instrument, goes to The Roost, is sweet, kind, good natured, everything!

What did I do in response to her wave?

I waved back and then walked straight into a stop sign. THAT'S what I did.

I died of embarrassment.

Kirby helped me up off the floor. I expected Ashley to be laughing at me, but instead she came over to help me out. She put her hand on my arm to check if it was okay.

Her hand… was feeling my arm.

Her sweet, gentle hands… feeling my arm.

I'm pretty sure I was blushing. (Well, that's one thing I've inherited from Palutena.)

After realizing I was fine, Ashley went back to work. she told me to be more careful next time and also reminded me of our duet. ( I have been practicing my _ass_ off… I don't want to f*** it up! Not in front of Ashley.)

After that, Kirby and I made it to The Roost, where the others were waiting for us. Roy, Sonic, Mac, and Robin laughed when I told him about what happened.

It's wasn't funny. (Why the fuck was Robin laughing?! One time he fell down the stairs at school looking at Lucina!)

Shulk told me that I was acting like him when he first saw Lucina. Idiotic, clumsy, and always loosing focus. He asked me if I had told anyone in my family about my "special feelings" towards Ashley.

Okay, first off, they're NOT special feelings… are they? I've actually never had a girlfriend before… Pit says that he has, but let's just look at how annoying Pit is.

No girl smart enough would go on a date with that idiot.

Anyway, I told the truth knowing that Shulk could see right past my lies. Shulk scolded me saying that I had to put more faith in my family.

That's impossible.

No offense Shulk, but I wouldn't trust those assholes with my life. Kirby maybe, but not them. But I see where Shulk is coming from. Most families are good… or so I've been told. So… maybe I should tell someone.

I put my faith in Game & Watch.

So I told my dad (fearing that Viridi, Pit, and Palutena would start getting defencive on why I choose a mortal over a goddess or deity).

I choose poorly.

Dad started to tease me about how He thought that I would marry Ashley and go on to have kids with her.

You see, this is why I don't talk to my family.

Regardless, my dad was still willing to listen to me about my lovely problem.

He told me to send by Ashley over so he could have a better look at her. I thought that it was a good idea, But of course this is my family.

A bunch of idiots like them could f*** it up easily.

But then came the hard part… asking Ashley to come over.

How much supposed to do that? Do I just walk over to her house and ask like an idiot? I can't walk over there! Her aunt, Jessica will probably chew me out! I don't look nice!

I'm new to all of this! How am I supposed to deal with any of this!?

Dating is too hard! Should I get her something? Am I overthinking this? besides what if Ashley doesn't like me?! What if she just sees me as a friend? What do I do then? Who should I be asking for all these questions to? Is there a way to ignore my emotions?

Game & Watch help me…

I'm going out tomorrow to see if she'll come to the house…

I got butterflies in my stomach… I don't feel well…

Maybe Shulk and Roy will come with me tomorrow.

Cuz I'm sure as hell I can't do this alone.

Pray for me!

~Dark Pit~

 **Saturday 7:35 p.m.**

I asked Ashley out.

…Shut up!

It's wasn't a date!

I decided to invite her over so that we can practice together! Nothing more nothing less! I just thought it would be better. Gosh! Do I look like the kind of guy to go on dates?

No!

I need to get these thoughts out of my head! It wasn't a date. It was for business reasons. It was just practice.

…

We kissed…

I'm scared.

I acted on impulse! She was getting closer and I didn't know to do! I really f***** that one up! Nice work, Dark Pit!

… I think she liked it…

O_O THE HELL AM I SAYING!?

It wasn't even suppose to be a date!

Is it bad that I liked it too? Is it bad that she ran her hands through my hair? Is it bad that I put ALL of my tongue in her mouth?

… Am I a pervert?

My lips… feel so nice…

We practiced, but then that happened. Ashley and I kissed… and then she said she needed to go home. She said she'd come back tomorrow and we can "pick up where we left off". She awkwardly kissed my cheek and went home.

… I feel so weird.

Dad dosen't know… Kirby knows… I'm just sitting here… contemplating whether or not Ashley and I are still friends or not.

My hands are tingling.

My clothes feel too hot.

… I'm taking a shower.

Hopefully I can wash away all the dirty thoughts in my head.

~Dark Pit~


	13. Chapter 13

**Monday 1:27 p.m.**

So I told my dad what happened with me and Ashley.

He thought that I and Ashley were already dating…

…

Dad, kill yourself.

I really need help right now and your smartass comments aren't helping. I wonder if Ashley and her aunt, Jessica are having the same issue. Maybe Ms. Jessica hates my guts now, I don't know. What I do know is that Ashley and I are definitely not friends anymore.

We could be enemies. We could be boyfriend and girlfriend. But we're NOT friends. Not anymore…

Maybe it was for the best? After All, Meta Knight always says that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was the universe's way of telling me that I should take a chance on love?

I really don't know.

I feel so confused.

Gotta go… (Palutena now knows what happened… Oh boy…)

~Dark Pit~

 **Monday 3:35 p.m.**

Oh my Game & Watch… I'm done for.

So Palutena has decided to come to The Class of 20XX as a chaperone to make sure that I "get the girl".

This is one of those moments where I prefer dad over mom.

Mom is not exactly "hip". She and Pit act like they are but they're not. They try so hard, but to no avail. Pit started teasing me about it. I completely wrecked him by saying that I had a date to the dance and he didn't. Pit shut up after that. Ghirahim decided to come too, in order to make sure that mom didn't embarrass me at the dance. This is one of the few times that I'm actually willing to trust that white son of a bitch. Palutena has the potential to make me look like the biggest mama's boy in existence. Ghirahim will keep her in check.

Viridi on the other hand, got really mad. She started ranting about how Ashley was a lowly mortal. "Why are you dating her?" (I'm not dating her. We're just friends.) "What are you thinking, Pitto?" (Don't call me Pitto, bitch. My name is Dark Pit.) "She's not even that pretty!" (Well, maybe you're just blind.) "What does she have? (That I don't?)" (Everything you lack.) I'm not entirely sure why Viridi is upset, but she had better shut the fuck up about Ashley. She's a pretty, talented girl. Viridi's just a short little brat of a goddess. What business does Viridi have talking all this shit? She doesn't have half the chest, butt, or face that Ashley does. (Not that I look at those things! Gosh!) I think she's just mad because no one will go to the dance with her. There's always Robin and Pit, Viridi. I'm won't be caught dead going with you.

Maybe Viridi's jealous of Ashley. It's a thought. If so, then Viridi needs to step off. No one has time for her nonsense.

Anyway, Roy and Fiora are together now. (How? Just… how?) They intend to go to the dance together. After hearing I would come, Robin went insane. I guess he thought that I wouldn't go to the dance or would show up without a date. He was pissed.

He asked me "How in the HELL do you, of ALL people, get a date for the dance?"

I responded "Fuck you. That's how."

Lucina is very pleased with me coming to the dance, along with Sonic and Mac. Mac and Mona were going together, and Sonic was tagging along. Kirby and Prince Luma decided to go together as friends.

Well, I gotta stop. I need to practice. I have tomorrow to perfect the song.

~Dark Pit~

 **Tuesday 4:07 p.m.**

Okay so hear me out.

Shulk, Robin, Roy, Sonic, Mac, Kirby and myself were at The Roost (the place where all the town's shit goes down) enjoying some coffee. Then, out of nowhere, Lucina and Fiora arrive with Ashley trailing behind (I almost had a heart attack). She sat next to me. I felt REALLY uncomfortable and something tells me so was she. The need to talk this over was great.

But we didn't.

Instead, we just sat their and acted as if everything was fine. We talked about the dance and how we were all excited to go. (Well, everyone except Robin). Ashley then asked me to come with her so we could discuss something. (Sonic, Mac, and Roy started to question what we were going to do where we were going. Assholes... ) I came along with her. We stopped at the pond that was behind The Roost. We stood there for a while, not knowing what to say to each other. (I was looking at the pond the whole time. Ashley was looking at the sky.) Then finally, I broke the ice.

"Hey about the other day… "

Ashley then put her finger on my lips. (I-I can't… I just… why me? She was so close too!)

"It's okay… I kinda anticipated it. It's my fault. I should've told you that… you know… I like you."

…

My face was RED. Period.

What sucks even more is that she was looking directly at my face and could obviously tell that I was blushing.

I hate myself.

I still managed to muster up the courage to respond. The rest of our conversation went kinda like this.

"Ash…"

"I like you… Pitto." (Okay, she's the only one besides Kirby who can call me "Pitto".)

"I-I…"

Before I could respond, she moved her finger and leaned in to kiss me.

By the end of the kiss, my face was as red as Mario's cap.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Viridi pulling on her hair through a window in The Roost. Phosphora was trying to calm her down, but Viridi pushed her away. Viridi actually came outside to confront the two of us.

Ashley smiled at me and then asked if she and I could be… more than just friends. My response?

"Yeah… I'd like that…"

I figured while the mood was still romantic, I would ask her to dance with me at the Ball. I don't know why, but I didn't judge either.

Everything happens for a reason.

But when I told her, she seemed sad. She told me she couldn't dance. (Viridi was getting closer. Thank Game & Watch that Phosphora was holding her back.)

…

I told her that it didn't matter. If I could learn to play a song as beautifully as she could, then she could learn to dance just as gracefully as I could. (I learned from Kirby.)

Ashley accepted with smile and with that she motioned me to come back in with her. I held her hand as we began to walk back into The Roost. (We were walking away from Viridi, who was accidentally pushed into the pond by Phosphora.)

Roy, Sonic, and Mac started to ask what happened outside, Robin excused himself to the restroom (probably to rage), Lucina, Shulk, and Kirby pointed out that Viridi was upset, Pit asked why I was blushing (I wanted to kick him in the face.), Fiora asked Ashley why she was so happy, and Prince Luma asked why we were holding hands.

I jerked my hand away quickly and looked away from the others. But I was smiling on the inside.

Things are really looking up for me.

~Dark Pit~

 **Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for all the support** **!** **〜** ٩ **( ╹▿╹ )** ۶ **〜** **Also happy Labor Day! Just as clarification, no this is not the Ashley from Warioware. This Ashley is from the game Trace Memory. If you don't know what she looks like, Google it! I put this because someone was confused on who Ashley was. I hope that cleared it up! (/^▽^)/ Anyway, as always, thank you for your time and don't forget to review!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Wednesday 12:01 a.m.**

It was the dance.

The exact thing I was dreading for the past few days.

The thing I didn't want to screw up more than anything in the world.

I came in the clothes my dad had picked out for me.

That itself was a problem.

First of all, he expected me to wear a white dress shirt, red tie, and gold vest that sparkled on top…

Do I look like Pit?! (I mean personality wise).

I just wanted a black suit! Is that too much to ask? Goddamnit! But that's not even the worst part. When I asked my dad for the bottom (the pants) he pulls out these light blue, tight, no pocketed jeans that screamed "I'm gonna dance the night away!"

Oh my FRICK!

Dad, can't you do anything right!?

This is the one time I decide to rely on you and this is what you do!?

Fuck me!

No, that's not even the worst part.

You know when you feel like your jeans outline a bit too much? Yeah, I was having that kind of moment. The bastard perfectly outline my rear. I looked in the mirror and felt weird about it. I usually have a part of my shirt covering my back side. When I put them on, I felt so embarrassed and opened. I put my hands down there to shield my posterior from the world. But my dad has the balls to say "What's wrong, Pitto? Afraid your bum is not tight enough? (GET OUT, DAD JUST GET THE FUCK OUT)! Not to worry my son! Your girlfriend Ashley will be quite amused by that area, Pitto." (I HATE YOU DAD).

Palutena comes down with Pit who was wearing the SAME FUCKING THING. (I cried on the inside). She then goes on to call Viridi downstairs.

Viridi looked awful.

I'm not saying this to be mean either, she really did look awful. I get that she was trying to pull off the nature-themed dress, but she didn't. She looked like crap, but I didn't say anything. I was too busy trying to cover up my behind.

Kirby appeared in my room wearing a top hat and monocle. He looked at me with a disgusted face on. He knew I looked like shit. I started searching through my closet for something else to wear.

Cause I was NOT going to the dance like that!

I got a purple vest, dark purple tie, a black dress shirt, black pants, black shoes, and slung a black blazer over my shoulder. I didn't feel like wearing it. Then I realized I forgot about my messy hair and my lack of socks. As I bent over and began to look in my dresser for some some black socks, I heard a sharp ripping sound. Kirby pointed at my derrière began to say "Bootee!" "Bootee!". I looked backwards only to see that the jeans had torn right down the crack of my ass.

Did I mention I wasn't wearing any boxers?

Well, I should be glad.

If I had worn that to the dance, then Kirby wouldn't be the only one saying that.

I gasped, covered up instantly, had my face turn a bright shade of red, and yelled at Kirby to shut up. (Little bastard, it's not funny)! He was laughing… I should've slapped him. I shrugged it off and (with the still ripped pants) looked through until I finally found a pair of black socks. I swung by for some black boxers too. Better safe than sorry. I then started to change my clothes. (I had to kick Kirby out. Little fucker started saying "Bootee!" again when I got my pants off).

When I looked into the mirror, I felt better. I was looking slick, smooth, hot, but not best, not yet. I still needed to do something about my bedhead. In the end, I just ended up combing it to the side. (No, not like my dad. No, I didn't use hair gel like Little Mac. I just casually combed it).

Then I was looking sexy. (I really question myself sometimes).

I let Kirby back into the room and he was happy to see that I wasn't in those crappy clothes anymore. I was glad too. Dad wasn't… like at all. He was mad that I didn't wear what he wanted me to, but then Kirby brought the ripped jeans and dad shut up about it. (He started saying "Pitto bootee!" as he pointed towards the hole in the back). Pit disregarded the rip in my previous pants. He said it was because of my karma that the pants ripped. (Later on at the dance, Pit's pants ripped).

Bullshit.

If it was my karma, then they would've ripped at the dance. But I wasn't in the mood to start an argument with Pit. I was more concerned about my duet with Ashley.

Game & Watch… I couldn't stop thinking about how nice Ash would look in the right dress. Damn… I really am a perv. My thoughts of nice, sweet outfits soon turned into over exposing dresses and dirty thoughts. Palutena (who was reading my mind) slapped me at the back of the head. She then told me to keep my "yearnings" to myself.

My nose was bleeding.

That's how she figured out.

Fuck me.

Viridi scoffed at me and then started again with her whole "I'm so much better than Ashley" rant.

Bitch, I do not have the time nor the patience to deal with your stupidity. Sit the fuck down, Viridi.

We left soon after my mom had finally gotten ready. When we arrived, the place was still being set up. All the teachers were there (dammit) and (because the universe is filled with horseshit) Ashley was also there.

Damn, I swear to Game & Watch I was drooling.

She was wearing a red dress that reached her ankles and white heels. She had a rose in her hair too. (Her outfit made her look… hot… the FUCK is wrong with me)?

She was rehearsing on the school piano, which she would use to play with me. I brought my violin with me and decided to join her.

"Hey there, Pitt—" Was what she said before stopping completely due to my outfit. She seemed to like what she was seeing. I span around for her once to let her see the full picture. (Such a sly bastard).Then, I smiled smugly and asked "What? Never seen a cute boy before?" (Even though I was drooling over her).

"You look really nice…" Was all she said.

She was blushing.

I saw it!

Hell yeah!

She wants me. (I'm awesome)!

I sat down next to her and began to rehearse with her. One by one, everyone began to come to the ball. In fact, the only person I didn't see there was Takamaru. (Poor guy). He was probably at home seeing as he's not accustomed to our generation yet. All my friends came.

But what shocked me the most is that Robin came. I thought for sure he would've stayed home. I guess I was wrong. Or maybe Robin came because he knew I was coming. Whatever, it didn't matter. All that mattered right now was the dance. Captain Falcon (the principle of the school AND police man AND council member AND town mechanic) began the announcements. When announcements were over, the ball began. Ashely and I had to perform two songs: one she picked and the other I picked. Mac, Sonic, Roy, and Shulk were all making it seem romantic that the two of us were playing together, but their amusement was cut short when Matthew stated that all students must dance to the two songs.

Ha! Checkmate, bitches!

Merry-go-round of life was the first song that we played.

We kicked ass with that song.

I thought it was really good and Ash seemed to have thought of it the same way. All the couples were waltzing. There were only a few scrubs that didn't know how to dance to a waltz. (What a bunch of idiots). The second song we played was a favorite of mine. We played Habanera from Carmen. Mac hated me so much because Mona ended up leading the dance. I'm such an ass! :)

When we were done, we received a round of applause from the crowd. Ashley then tried to quickly sit in her chair, but I caught her red handed.

She was hoping I forgot about the dancing.

Well, I didn't.

She said she didn't want to dance because she was afraid that I wouldn't like her anymore if I saw her dance.

I smiled at her.

I forced her to dance saying that I would look just as bad as she did if we danced terribly, and it would be okay. I actually had the balls to say I loved her, and that nothing was terrible when I was with her…

My face turned the greatest shade of red ever.

I was so embarrassed.

But in the end, Ashley said the same, gave me a hug and kiss, and apologized. (Aw… Ash…)

Then Viridi decided to be bitch.

Viridi starts saying that Ash can't dance and should just give it up, she's not good enough to be at the Smash Academy, she's ugly, and all that crap. Sonic (who I owe big time) took some punch and poured it on Viridi before she could continue. My classmates started laughing. Viridi was on the verge of tears. (That's what you get). Pit, who was Viridi's date, came to her aid. _That_ was when his pants ripped. I laughed my ass off on the inside. (Who's karma is shitty now)? I couldn't laugh on the outside. (Palutena would have skinned me alive). Palutena went to go help the two. Ghirahim on the other hand, was dying. He couldn't stop laughing. While everyone was distracted, I took Ash's hand and lead her to the dance room. It's the room where the dance team usually practices. I brought her there because of the beautiful view and the ballroom music could still be heard.

But when she asked me why, I told her that I thought it was romantic. (Damn, I'm smooth).

Best. Night. Ever.

The two of us began to dance together under the reflection of the moon. She staring at me and I was staring at her. True love was in the air. I thought it was cute how Ash kept slipping on her own two feet and would land on me.

I knew she was really trying for me.

At one point we stopped and sat down (because Ash's feet were hurting). We then looked at the moon through the window. She cuddled up to me… Mmm… I loved every moment of it. We stayed there for a while, just enjoying the moment. Later, Ash got close to my ear, licked it, and whispered "I love you, Pitto.".

Ugh… my pants felt tight.

I petted her hair snuggled closely to her. I wanted this moment to never end. I actually fell on top of Ash (by accident). Guess I was snuggling too hard…

That was when my friends (along with Pit and Viridi) came in. They were looking for us so that we could chill as a big group of friends. But when they came in they all go the wrong idea of what was going on.

I was on top of Ash…

Dammit! Why did they come in at the wrong time?! (That was really humiliating).

Sonic and Mac said if I wanted to screw Ash, then I could do that later. (I hate you guys).

Well, later we were all just enjoying the rest of the dance. I'm actually glad I came.

When we were leaving, Ash rushed up to me. (Viridi had a salty look on).

She gave me a hug and her hands slipped… onto a lower area. She rubbed once and then said goodbye to me. (Uh… Ash… Fuck… ).

It was one good fucking night for me.

When I got into the chariot, Ghirahim (who witnessed that moment) asked if I did anything sexual to Ashley while at the dance. My face turned red. (Dammit! I hate blushing). I yelled no at him, but he seemed unconvinced. Palutena joined in by saying she was glad her little Pitto was falling in love.

Mom! Stop! Game & Watch! (Why do you like embarrassing me)?

Pit said it looked like I had fun. He didn't, but still. I guess Pit knew that I was right. Viridi said nothing. With that, we went home.

I feel awesome.

Well that's all for now

~Dark Pit~

 **Author's Note: Dang! This by far is the longest chapter! Milestone! Dark Pit and Ashley had a really good time… and Ashley slipped Dark Pit that hand *If you know what I mean* (LOL what's wrong with me)? Anyway, hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Friday 9:13 p.m.**

I saw him!

Finally!

He's doing it!

He's doing the thing!

Now I can get his sorry pale ass out of the house for good!

So it all started with Kirby coming over today. He showed me this old camera he got. It was really crumby. It wasn't even one of those cameras with a flash. It just took a picture.

Lame.

He found it in Mr. Game & Watch's yard. Mr. Game & Watch said that he could keep it free of charge. Now had it been anyone older than Ness, Mr. Game & Watch wouldn't have let them have it for free. He may be wiser than anyone in Smashington Lance (hell, even all of Nintendo) but he can be a jerk sometimes. He makes people go through rigorous tasks for things they want from him. Most of the time, people give up, but that all changed when Takamaru did what Mr. Game & Watch asked. He was asked to jump from Mt. Coronet without a parachute or anything to break his fall. Basically, it was a jump to his death, but he still did it. The way he put it, he said Mr. Game & Watch was asking him to take a leap of faith. I don't know if he was crazy enough or just stupid. Hell, he could've been both. The next day, Takamaru came to Mr. Game & Watch with a few cuts on his face and a large gash on his left arm. He walked as if he wasn't hurt. Takamaru then asked for what he wanted. Mr. Game & Watch smiled and gave him a fan.

He nearly killed himself for a fan.

What an idiot.

But apparently, the fan had belonged to his grandfather. It meant a lot to him that he had found it. He was willing to go through anything for it. From that day forward, Mr. Game & Watch would smile whenever Takamaru walked by. He even went as far as to tell Roy once to be as persistent as a samurai.

I'm sure that Takamaru and Mr. Game & Watch have a deeper past than I realize, but I don't wanna ask. I'd seem too awkward. Mario one time asked and Mr. Game & Watch simply told him "the past can only fuel you to go forward, Mario." (Or something wise like that).

Whatever.

Anyway, after showing me the camera, Kirby wanted to play tag. I'm normally not too big on playing baby games with Kirby, but I decided to do it. I had nothing better to do. I started out as "it". Kirby ran somewhere and I had to find him. (He probably hid in the dungeons considering that place gives me the creeps). I didn't even need to look that hard for Kirby.

Out of nowhere, he came running towards me and hugged my legs.

He was scared.

I asked him what was wrong only to get a bunch of panicked "Poyos" . I figured that Kirby walked in on Magnus playing Fire Emblem.

…

When Magnus plays Fire Emblem, he gets intimately attached to the female characters. I regret the day I witnessed that.

My young eyes weren't ready for that.

Anyway, Kirby was pointing towards the dungeons, were all the "heathens" are sent. (I've been sent there numerous times by Palutena, apparently because she believes that I'm an evil person). As much as I didn't want to go down there, I had to see what was so scary. So Kirby and I began our descent down into the dungeons.

As we traveled downward, I heard a familiar voice. The best part being that it was Ghirahim. I started thinking why the hell he was down here.

Then it hit me.

That bastard is doing something sinister…

Fucking finally!

Goddamn that took for freaking ever! Game & Watch!

I and Kirby continued down into the dungeons. The further we traveled the louder Ghirahim's voice became. Finally, we were literally right behind him (I poked my head out from behind a pillar only to see him giving a speech to a sea of monsters). Kirby and I watched quietly as Ghirahim began to quiet the monsters down. Once they were quiet, Ghirahim began his speech.

"Comrades! They day of our revenge has finally come! With the help of our lovely Goddess of Light's henchmen (the ones that had apparently been brain washed) and the help of Demise himself (my dad's boss), we will finally be able to take what was rightfully ours! Soon, we will take back the kingdom of Hyrule and plunge it into everlasting chaos! *Insert bat-shit insane laughter here* "

The crowd went insane. Kirby was cheering too. I was mystified. They were trying to get a large army to take over Hyrule? That was… kinda cool actually. The thought of taking Link down a peg would probably put Pit in a state of uncontrolled happiness.

Pit HATES Link.

Period.

It had something to do with Link's games being more popular than his. I honestly don't care. That's Pit's fault for not being entertaining enough.

As the crowd lost their shit, I cursed softly. I didn't have any proof. Palutena wouldn't believe me unless I had some good hard proof.

That's when I realized something.

Kirby had a camera!

I motioned him to give me the camera and soon began to take pictures. I chuckled softly. This was my day. I would get proof. I would finally get rid of Demon Lord Pain in my ass. Things were really looking up.

Ghirahim hushed the crowd again. Once quiet, he continued.

"But why stop there? We already have Skyworld within our grasp! The whole lot of Skyworld will be ours! Comrades! We are just mere weeks away from taking over Skyworld. Once from there, The Mushroom Kingdom will be our next target. It should be easy considering their best line of defence is a plumber that can jump high. I expect his head on a platter for our triumph! After The Mushroom Kingdom, we'll head for the six regions containing pokemon! They're crucial for our operation. We'll be… "borrowing" some techniques of enslaving pokemon from our dear friends from Team Rocket."

Ghirahim snapped his fingers and then two guards appeared with what looked like the remains of two Team Rocket members. They'd been beaten to death. Ghirahim looked at them for a little longer then continued.

"We couldn't have done it without them! *More bat shit insane laughter* But anywho, with the enslaved pokemon, we'll be able to easily take over Ylisse and Valm! Which reminds me, anyone who is able to retrieve the so called "Hero Kings" will get a handsome award. I would love to break his will."

Was he talking about Marth? I hope not. The guy looks like a girl. (I heard from Kirby that Ike has groped him before, but he didn't realize that he was a girl until Marth kicked him in the face. Better him than me.) I would've loved to watch more, but Kirby sneezed. All eyes focused towards where the cutest sneeze had come from. I heard something big coming our way. Kirby hugged my feet as the giant footsteps thundered towards us. A HUGE dodongo was right next to us. He looked like he could tear me to shreds! (He also smelled like a swamp.) I held my breath and prayed to Game & Watch that he didn't find us. Kirby held my legs tightly. He was terrified. After what seemed like an eternity, he turned back around and shrugged. Ghirahim nodded but looked back. But at the exact time he looked back, Kirby sneezed again. This time, Ghirahim started to walk towards the two of us. My heart started to race. This was it. I was going to end up like those two team rocket guys… or worse.

Thank Game & Watch for Kirby.

Kirby quickly opened his mouth and got out a smoke ball. He handed it to me and started to motion me to use it. He was panicking as much as me. I looked back and threw the smoke ball. In an instant, the dungeons filled with colorful arrays of smoke. I grabbed Kirby and began to run.

"Find that pest! FIND HIM! I won't have my plans ruined!" was all I heard as I ran. My dad was pissed. I've never heard him raise his voice like that. I knew at that point that if I got caught, then I might as well have killed myself. I ran as fast as possible. But of course, with my luck, I ran into the same giant dodongo. He looked at me with a fierce expression. I screamed (something I never do) and ran the hell out of there. I ran into three other monsters before finally finding the stair case. I don't know whether or not any of them were Ghirahim, but at the time, it didn't matter. I rushed up the stairs and into my room. As I slammed the door Kirby ran underneath my bed and stayed there for a while. I locked the door and laid on my bed. I quietly began to thank Game & Watch. I lived to see another day.

But the time has finally come! With these pictures, I can finally kick that bastard out!

Hell yeah!

~Dark Pit~

 **I'm back! XD Homework, Projects, and Tests galor! They all really make me want to scream "I can't take it anymore!" But the book Animal Farm had a hand in this chapter. Compare Ghirahim and Napoleon's speeches. But anyway, I've also been writing an Undertale story. It's taking a lot of** **determination** **to make (if you get this then congrats). Well there you have it! Ghirahim has been found out! What will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! Thank you guys and feel free to leave a review! ✌('ω')✌**


	16. Chapter 16

**Tuesday 6:46 p.m.**

So today, there was a new kid in class. He had weird ass hair and looked just as moody as I did. He was a blonde, like Shulk but had my personality. Mr. McCloud told us that Mr. Game & Watch himself referred the guy.

Now that's rare.

THe only other person that Mr. Game & Watch favors is Takamaru. What was so great about this guy?

I don't know.

The guy didn't say a word in class.

He'd just glance around the place and quietly take notes.

I didn't even get his name.

I guess he's just shy.

Can't blame him.

This school has some scary people in it. (Little Mac is one of them.)

Well that's everything interesting that happened today.

~Dark Pit~

 **Friday 6:06 a.m.**

I made a new friend. His name's Cloud. Cloud Strife. He's the new kid that joined us on Tuesday. On Wednesday I saw him playing the trumpet during band. He was sitting alone.

Just like I used to do.

Saki was annoying him, but he continued playing. Saki eventually got bored (because he wasn't getting the reaction he wanted) and left him alone). I felt like I had heard the song he was playing before. Then, I realized he was playing the fire emblem theme.

He sounded really good.

I had to harmonize with him.

It's a band geek thing.

I began to play with him. He stopped and looked at me with a surprised face. I thought that he was going to compliment me on my skills.

Boy, was I wrong.

Instead, Cloud gave me a really dirty look and started playing faster. It caught me off guard, but once I picked up on his tempo I glanced back at him.

He seemed pissed.

He started playing really fast at that point (I'm surprised he didn't run out of air. He must be a really good trumpet player.) I stopped playing and he became louder and louder. It sounded really nice. When he was done, his face was red and he was out of breath. Still, he managed to look at me with a smug look on.

"How was that?!" Was all he told me.

He kept wheezing after that. I was really good, but the thing is, Ash thought it was good too.

That's when shit went down.

Ash told Cloud that he was really good. Cloud proceeds to do that really cliche anime bullshit move where he flips his hair and acts like he's all that and a bag of chips.

"I know." Was what he said.

It kinda made me mad.

He was appealing to Ash… It ate away at me.

I HATED Cloud at that moment. I wanted to do something but then Cloud looked back at me with the same shit eating smile on.

Game & Watch, I've never wanted to punch someone in all my life.

His smile shrank away and he looked at me with a confused face on.

"Your hair's not brown anymore…" was what he said.

Then I realized something…

He thought I was PIT.

Game & Watch, I hate it when people mistake me for that idiot. ESPECIALLY my dad. He does it on purpose I swear!

But anyway, I explained that Pit was my… twin brother. That's what everyone else refers to the two of us as. The Pit brothers.

Cloud's face lit up. He started apologizing. Apparently, Pit was annoying the living shit out of Cloud. He wasn't a fan of him at that point. I forgave him and the two of us started a conversation on music. He likes orchestral music apparently, but occasionally he'll listen to some hard rock or pop. I'm more of a electronic, punk, rock, pop, alternative, jazz kind of guy.

But I'm not judging.

Ash was really happy. She was glad that Cloud and I became friends. After band, Cloud and I made our way to Mr. McCloud's class, otherwise known as Biology. Which brings me to another point…

Cloud has a nice ass according to Ashley.

No, not MY Ashley. The one that turned her teacher into a spoon and doesn't have very many friends.

Hell, now that I think about it, Cloud is the new eye candy at the school. toadettes, hylians, you name it. They were checking Cloud out. Though he's not apart of nintendo, he still can make girls break their necks just to get a glimpse of him.

He's cross dressed before though…

Yeah…

(Is it bad that he looked nice in the dress?)

Anyway, the two of us became fast friends. We both had a similar love for music, like to be moody (well… sometimes), find dirty jokes funny, and other immature shit like that. Kirby calls us "besties".

I wouldn't say that.

I just met him two days ago.

For all I know, he could be a serial killer.

But as of now, I like him.

He can be my friend.

But of course, there's a problem…

Cloud wants to come over to my place. Now, this wouldn't be bad except for the fact that my family is COMPLETELY INSANE! One look at my dad is enough to send Cloud running! I tried to talk him out of it, but he was persistent. Besides, Kirby said it was a great idea.

Fuck me.

Why does this kind of shit only happen to me?

Now I'm sure you're wondering why I haven't been able to tell mom about dad's plans. Well that's simple: She's never home nowadays. She's out doing whatever moms do with Peach, Zelda, Samus, Ms. Pac Man, Rosalina, Ms. Trainer, and Fem. Robin so I never have the time to tell her what I need to. But lucky me, she wants to see my new friend. She'll be home when Cloud comes over.

And no, Cloud isn't just coming over. No, he's spending the night.

Fuck me and my luck.

Kirby will be there (thank Game & Watch for Meta Knight).

… Man, my life is too hard.

Pray for me

~Dark Pitto~

 **Man, I'm happy that Cloud is in the game. Unexpected sure, but I'm still happy about it. IAlmostForgotThatTheSmashBallotsWereGoingOn…**

 **Now all we need now is Isaac (From Golden Sun) and Smash will be one of my favorite games ever! :D**

 **Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! \\(^ 3^)/**


	17. Chapter 17

**Sunday 9:00 a.m.**

So you know my dad's master plan to enslave all of Nintendo? Yeah, I showed Palutena the proof of that.

What was her response?

She STILL doesn't believe a damn word of it.

She says it's just because I'M the one telling her. Why should she trust me? (Bitch…) She even thinks that him and I are on "good terms".

Hell no.

I fucking hate that pale white bastard. I hate him almost as much as I hate Palutena. Hell, sometimes I hate him more than Palutena. Fuck that. I hate him more than Palutena, Pit, and Viridi sometimes. After the way he embarrassed me yesterday in front of Cloud, I'll NEVER forgive him. And I don't think he cares either.

But yeah, about yesterday, Cloud came over as promised. He insisted that I show him around. I did but I didn't like it.

I don't like Skyworld (no fucking shit, place is hell on earth).

He and I wandered through Skyworld like idiots for a little bit. Then Kirby showed up. He stuck to Cloud like fucking glue. (I shit you not, Kirby was holding his weird ass hair for majority of the day.)

We listened to some of MY music, but then Cloud said that we always listened to my music (which is only true because the music Cloud listens to has really inappropriate songs. I honestly don't care, but Meta Knight cares a whole damn lot what Kirby hears. It's not like he can even say the words anyway.)

I decided to humor Cloud and let him play his music.

BIG MISTAKE.

First off, Cloud turned the volume all the way up, second, my door was wide the fuck open, and third he was listening to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way) by Ludacris. Holy shit, I think all of Skyworld was vibrating with the music.

Cloud and Kirby were singing along to the song. Cloud was doing his best to mimic the voices and Kirby was just singing the chorus: Move Bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way bitch! Get out the way! I joined Cloud in singing the song. It surprisingly lasted alot longer than I was expecting. Palutena and Ghirahim eventually rushed into the room and yelled at all three of us. They took my Stereo and left. (I realized later that be got about 16 noise complaints from as far as Hearthome City. Oh yeah, and I realized that Ghirahim then broke MY MP3. It was fucking Cloud! Fuckass…)

Cloud gave Palutena and Ghirahim the one finger salute when they left. I laughed. Kirby was sad. (I think he really liked that song.)

To cheer Kirby up, Cloud suggested that we get something for him to eat. I suggested that we get him an apple, but I didn't want to go downstairs alone. Palutena and Ghirahim could be waiting for me down there. Cloud agreed to go with me. Viridi watched us come downstairs. The creepy look on her face made me shutter. Pit looked at Cloud angrily. To him, Cloud was like Link 2.0.

Not that Cloud gave a damn.

Palutena eventually noticed that we were downstairs and started bitching about the loud music.

We fucking get it.

Game & Watch…

Ghirahim smiled like the faggot ass queer that he is and told Cloud that I had something to show him.

Game and fucking Watch I wanted someone to kill me right then and there.

That asshole demon showed Cloud that video. The video of me and Kirby rocking out in my room like complete idiots. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Cloud didn't know how to respond. Kirby came downstairs and dragged both of us outside. As we left, I could hear that bastard laughing.

Fuck you dad.

I hope Link kicks your ass again.

Fucker.

Kirby, who was now happy ran to Ashley who had just arrived. Ashley greeted both of us. She was just here to give me my guitar pick back.

It made me feel a little bit better.

Then we saw Viridi, who continued to watch us with that creepy face on.

Don't worry. Later on, both Cloud and I would figure out why she had that face on. (Viridi ships us… Gross.)

But before then, Cloud stumbled into my mom and dad's room. The giant picture of the two of them "happily" enjoying one another's company was the first thing Cloud insulted. The giant mirror that mom uses to watch us was currently focused on the Smashington Lane, the place we live above. Cloud and I watched the town from there for a little while. But then Cloud started snooping through my dad's stuff. He asked me if I could keep a secret after a while.

I'm glad I said yes.

Cloud said that a newcomer by the name of… Bayonetta was going to be here soon. He and her met and she decided to take him as her new little "servant". She was an Umbra witch (whatever the hell that meant.) It was something that Palutena said was a bad omen.

But that's not the best part.

Bayonetta intends to destroy Skyworld. She'll need all the help she can get. Kirby wandered into the room and heard all of this. Apparently, Kirby already knew who Bayonetta was. He danced at the sound of her name. Cloud asked if I would help on their operation of conquest. If I would join the Anti - Skyworld Syndicate.

(Yeah, I know. It spells ASS. Shut up. It was the name Cloud gave it, even after I told him what is spelled.)

In my mind, I pictured Palutena dead, Pit dead, Viridi dead, Ghirahim dead, and Skyworld engulfed in flames. Everything as it should be. There was only one thing I could say…

Hell yeah.

Cloud gave me a warm welcome by kissing my forehead. He didn't want to but as initiation for anyone, they must be kissed by a member. That's what Bayonetta said. I didn't like it, but Cloud had is much worse. Bayonetta kissed his neck until he gave in. Cloud kissed Kirby's forehead just the same. Kirby kissed his cheek back. Cloud didn't like it at all.

Viridi was watching that too.

She ran off immediately, giggling like the dumbshit she was.

Fuck you Viridi.

I'm not the kind to take a slim jim to the booty. Especially not from Cloud.

Cloud and I eventually left the house and went to Shulk's.

He looked a bit flustered when we came in. Lucina was laying on the couch happily. She got the fuck up once the two of us came in. Roy was laughing once he came downstairs. He knew what was about to happen. Cloud figured out very quickly. The words he said will forever stick in my mind.

"E for everyone my ass."

Robin got mad at Shulk for even trying to fuck Lucina (or rather that HE wasn't going to be able to fuck Lucina), but he said he was just going to cuddle with her. Sonic and Mac (who were raiding the fridge) said that Lucina was the one who started it. Like Mac said: "She a hoooooooooooooooooooooo…."

(Mac and Sonic are stupid af but hey, that's why their friends.)

Lucina insisted that she didn't want anything to go down, but Mac wouldn't listen. I looked at Cloud only to see him burst into laughter. Apparently he expected us to be so kid friendly and nice, but boy he was wrong.

Nintendo is nice when it wants to be and sour when it wants to be.

I think today, Cloud realized that.

Everyone else calmed down because of his laughter. The mood was lightened just a bit because of Cloud's laughter.

After that, we decided to play Splatoon (shut up. It's not just for kids.)

Cloud freaking sucks ass at Splatoon. He's a total scrub and a bit of a salty sore loser.

That's all for now

~Dark Pit~


	18. Chapter 18

**Monday 10:21 p.m.**

So today at school, Mr. McCloud told us that we would be receiving four more new classmates. Hell, two of them came over today. The first one, was an ungodly pink hedgehog girl named Amy Rose.

She SUCKS.

She's so mean to everyone except Sonic, but Sonic has made it more than clear that he's NOT interested in her. (He literally called her a psycho bitch, which earned him a detention from Mr. McCloud.) On top of that, she had the audacity to call Little Mac short.

The last person who called Mac short needed to be resurrected by Mr. Game & Watch. HE FREAKING BEAT THEM TO DEATH. Of course, they had it coming.

Mac was only able to land one punch on her. She threatened to hurt him with her piko hammer (which looked like some bullshity excuse for a weapon). Mac wanted to fight but Mr. McCloud sent him straight to Principal Falcon along with Amy. Sure, Mac hit a girl, but Fox knew full well that this bitch had it coming.

That ended the fight.

The second one was a girl named Tifa. She and Cloud are apparently childhood friends. She's very developed… (if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

The last kid is yet to come yet. He'd be here sometime soon is what Mr. McCloud said. His (and her name) was Corrin. It's kinda like the male and female Robin situation. Let's just hope that Corrin doesn't suck as much as male Robin does. Fem. Robin is okay I guess. She's just shy.

Mr. Lombardi got chewed the fuck out by Mr. McCloud today. The the two of them were speaking really quietly at first, so I don't really know what they were talking about, but at one point, Mr. Lombardi said "Don't give me that shit, Fox! You know full well that's horse shit! Why is Slippy allowed to do that but I can't?! The Great Fox isn't his!"

We were all taking the ecology test too…

Mr. Lombardi went from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds. Mr. McCloud continued to speak quietly to the pissed-off bird, but Falco was straight up yelling at Fox. The conversation I heard (and the rest of the class heard) was like this:

Fox: "Falco, I don't get why you're getting so mad about this. Slippy asked. You didn't. Get over it. The kids are taking a test."

Falco: "I don't give a FUCK!"

Fox: "Falco!"

Falco: "No! Shut up! You know? You're so full of shit sometimes Fox. Why are you such and ass?"

Fox: "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GODDAMN, WHINY, ASS BITCH, FALCO?!"

The whole class was completely quiet. Fox was so done with this. This was the first time I've EVER seen Mr. McCloud so pissed off. He's usually chill and calm.

Fox: "I'm NOT in the mood to start an arguement with you, so could you please just SHUT. THE FUCK. UP."

Falco said "Make me." and got a backhand to the face. He stood there, shocked that Fox just bitch slapped him. Fox realized that the rest of us were watching the whole thing. He seemed a bit embarrassed about his behavior. He was all "Sorry you had to see that children. Get back to your tests.".

I learned a lesson today: don't fuck with Mr. McCloud. He will fuck your shit up.

Ashley and I were walking home together today. We'd head to my place first since we went to hers last time. She held my hand and I blushed like a pussy. Still, I was happy. Every second with her is a great one.

...I need to stop with all this sappy shit.

As we were walking, I got tackled and brutally knocked out by Cloud who then put me in a sack and ran off. Ashley chased after him. When I got out, I was in a bar. Some guy with shades was washing a cup and welcomed me to the Gates of Hell.

Let me just say that if that was the Gates of Hell, then the rest of it shouldn' t look so bad. The bar looked nice.

But why the hell was I there? Why the hell am I in hell? (You see what I did there?)

… Okay let me rephrase that (because there are tons of reasons why I'm going to hell.)

Why the hell was I in hell right now?

It didn't take long for me to find Cloud sipping some apple cider at the counter. I ran up and tried to punch him, but he dodged.

I fell flat on my ass.

Cloud rolled his eyes and went back to drinking. He explained that he was showing me to Bayonetta. The bartender guy's name was Rodin. He and Bayonetta knew each other. Rodin called me a shota. As much as I wanted to fight him, he seemed way too tough to beat.

No shit. He's from an M-rated game.

So I waited for her to come. It took a while, but finally she came into the bar through the roof from a portal. Ash, Kirby, and Pit fell into the bar too.

Bayonetta… is by far the most over sexualized thing I've ever seen. I thought Palutena was bad. I mean what she was wearing… I don't even know. I can't even explain. She and Samus would be great friends. Both of them have nice bodies.

Ashley hugged me. She must've been worried about me. She then threw her shoe at Cloud, who dodged it. She called him an asshole. (He is one too.)

I couldn't look at Bayonetta. She looked… I mean… her body was… showing too excessively. You could almost see everything in that black skin-tight outfit. It made me uncomfortable. Thank Game & Watch Cloud was uncomfortable too. If he wasn't, I'd feel like a total kid. Bayonetta walked to Cloud first before even addressing me. Her clothes became even more tight as she walked to him.

Cloud blushed intensely and then turned away from Bayonetta.

"Damnit Tifa… " Was what I heard him mumble. "Where the hell are you?"

She ruffled his hair and began to ask him stuff like "How was school?" and "Are you making friends?" Cloud answered as quickly as possible and without looking directly at Bayonetta. She was happy to receive the responses.

Then she got up close and just a few centimeters away from Cloud's face.

I felt so bad for him.

She forced him to look at her, much to his disliking. His blush got even worse. Bayonetta asked more questions in the same playful manner that she did before. Only this time, she seemed to be doing it as punishment to Cloud. She asked Cloud who the hell we were. Cloud told her who all of us were.

She wasn't satisfied.

"Now, now Cloud. What have I told you about bringing pests into the Gates of Hell?" She asked.

"I only brought that one." Cloud said when he pointed to me.

Bayonetta brought him even closer. She threatened to punish him with the pony if she found out that she was lying. At that point, Cloud's whole face was red. (What kind of shit is this lady doing to Cloud?)

Punishments must suck for Cloud.

Cloud looked away from her and pointed to me. She looked at me and started to walk closer. I was scared. If Cloud can't look her in the eye, what makes you think I can?! Ashley asked who she was only to be ignored. She was mad, but what could she do? This is an Umbra witch. She's as powerful as all hell. She pointed her gun at me. I looked at Cloud, hoping that he would do something.

But he didn't instead.

He just sat there and watched. He was too scared to stop her from whatever the hell she was going to do. He told me that I should just cooperate. Ashley was pleading with Bayonetta not to shoot. Pit tired to save me only to get shot himself. Bayonetta pointed the gun back to me and fired.

She missed on purpose.

She asked who I was. I answered as fast as possible. I didn't want to end up like Cloud. I started blabbing too. About A.S.S., and Skyworld. Bayonetta seemed happy again. It was nice to know that I wanted to join her on her quest of murder. Even though I was an angel and to her angels are annoying.

(I didn't ask to be born an angel you know.) - Edgy shit of the day

Bayonetta asked about Pit. I said I was the dark version of him. She killed Pit after I said that. She shot him clean through the head. His corpse stained the floor, making Rodin mad.

Something tells me I made the right decision going with Bayonetta. I mean, Pit's already dead! (Sure, he'll be revived by Dr. Mario later, but still! He's dead!)

Ashley stayed ignored by Bayonetta and then there was Kirby.

They looked like best friends.

(How the hell does Kirby know all these people?!)

Bayonetta cooed over Kirby's adorableness and he just stayed in her hug. Little cuddly giggles bounced out of Kirby as Bayonetta swung him around the room. She really liked him. Ashley grabbed Cloud by the hair and threatened to kill him but was stopped by Tifa, who fell through the portal later on.

Ash does NOT like Tifa. Like, at all. And judging by the looks of it, Tifa doesn't like her either.

For one thing, Tifa got all confrontational towards Ash, especially because she was being "a total bitch" to Cloud.

Let's get one thing straight, Cloud fucking KIDNAPPED me. She should've been yelling at him! (Of course, I didn't say anything because of her savage nature.)

Well after being confronted, Ash started to argue with Tifa, push led to shove, and eventually Ash made fun of Tifa's over sexualized body. I looked at Cloud to see what he would do. Cloud looked at me to see what I would do. Bayonetta and Kirby didn't seem to give a goomba's ass if the two of them were fighting. Infact, I don't even think they noticed the two of them were fighting. Rodin just drank more beer (drunk bastard…). The comment made by Ash was quickly turned against her though.

Tifa told her that GORONS have more boob than she ever will. (Okay, I'll admit it. It was a pretty sick burn.)

Ash lost her shit.

She was yelling at Tifa, but Tifa ignored her. I think she already knew she won that argument. Instead, she sat next to Cloud and said hi to me. Ash literally had fumes coming out of her ears because she was so mad. I wanted to help, but then there was Cloud.

He made me sit back down and shut up with one cold glare. (I wasn't intimidated! It's just… he… looked like he was going to do something! Shut up!)

In all honesty though, I'm glad Cloud told me to chill. I could've been killed.

Bayonetta (after whirling Kirby around the room) told me that my "initiation" would start tomorrow. Cloud chuckled at the word "initiation".

What the fuck are they going to make me do?

All of us (yes, including Pit's corpse) were escorted out of the Gates of Hell by Bayonetta. She waved goodbye to us and then left in a puff of fire.

After that, all of us started walking home. Ash went home first, then Tifa, and Cloud and Kirby followed me home. Then Cloud asked a good question: "So… what about Pit's corpse?"

Shit.

I completely forgot about that.

I was just mindlessly lugging his carcass around. Palutena was going to think I did it. All hell would break loose.

Thank Game & Watch for… my "dad"… I guess. (He's still an asshole. :( )

We came in only to see that my "dad" was doing some "paper work" (A.K.A. planning for the destruction of the Mushroom Kingdom). He got pissed, but not because the dead body I was lugging around. It was because I was tracking blood into the room with Pit's corpse. I would say something to defend the fact that a person died… but it's Pit.

Who gives a damn about him?

He was also mad because now he had to call Dr. Mario to fix him. We both knew that Palutena would never shut up about Pit being dead. Having him revived would cost money and blah blah blah…

That's _your_ problem, not mine.

As it turns out, "mom" was hanging with the ladies of Nintendo (in addition to Mrs. Pacman), or at least that's what Ghirahim said. Viridi was already asleep, but that's only because he drugged her. Phosphora's loud ass pop music could be heard upstairs. Rhythm Heaven music is quite possibly the only thing I ever hear her listen to. Occationally, it'll be something like ballad of the goddess or green greens, but the norm is the Rhythm Heaven Fever soundtrack. It just means that she's done with her homework. Which reminds me… I should start doing my homework… Eh…

Maybe later.

I have to say, "dad" looked like he was tired. His normally combed hair was a mess he looked like he hadn't slept in days. Also his calm, gentlemanly attitude was more irritable and sarcastic than usual. Papers surrounded him, some crumpled, some circled, some stacked into other piles, and there were a lot of empty pens on the table. He really was working, just like an actual dad.

NO! Hell no! He's just doing this for world domination! There's no way he's actually working! I don't believe it! Fuck no!

Point being he was tired!

Anyway, he asked why we were out so late.

Cloud has the balls to say that we just drinking with friends. I gritted my teeth and prayed that the queer would just take the lie. He can smell bullshit from a mile away.

Ghirahim seemed not to believe it, but let it pass because he was busy with "work". He gathered his papers and started moving to his office (yes, Palutena gave him an office because he wouldn't stop whining about it), but not before telling us to go to bed.

What am I? Three? I don't need a bed time.

Well whatever. I'm here now in my bed (definetly NOT because I was told to go to sleep. It's just that I'm actually feeling tired. Prick.)

That's all for now.

~Dark Pit~

 **Bayonetta 4 smash! :) Just to let you know, the next chapter is going to be in Ghirahim's perspective, not Dark Pit's. Thank you and don't forget to review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Friday, 0230**

I sat amongst the foot of the mountain waiting for quite some time for my son. The wind was howling and those horrid pokemon creatures kept looking at me. Time ticked on and still no sign of the dark angel. The Angry Sun had risen up into the sky. It was at this point I was outraged. How dare he try and miss training… again?!

"Pitiful angel boy…" I grumbled. "I ought to give him the beating of a lifetime for this."

Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw him racing towards me. A piece of toast was within his mouth and that little pink puff (I believe his name was Kirby) was running right beside him. I cross my arms waiting for his pitiful excuse as to why he was late for this week's training session. He took his sweet time catching his breath, which angered me even more. Finally, the dark angel spoke.

"I'm… here…" He wheezed.

I shook my head in a disgusted way.

"I'm aware of that."

I rose to my feet and began to materialize my rapier. The dark angel continued to try and catch his breath. He seemed tired. From doing absolutely nothing I presume. The pink puff simply stared at me. His face seemed blank for a moment, but then an absolutely adorable face covered his entire round little body. I smirked at him. He is cute, I'll give him that. I turned my "son" only to see that he was already in a battle stance. His eyes were fixated on me and every move I made, his hands twitched with the action and lust of battle. The fierce look in his eyes made me smile.

 _It looks like someone's serious today._ I thought.

The dark angel motioned me forward with his pitiful… I don't even know what ungodly so called "weapon" he and his brother poses… (The Goddess's weapons are quite possibly the weakest "godly" weapons known to man.)

"Game on." He said in a cocky way.

I chuckled at his words. I entered my own battle stance. The fierce wind blew as all stayed silent. My eyes focused on his current movements and his eyes focused on mine.

 **0300**

Well, that didn't last long. Thirty minutes in and already he's beaten. I tell him to get up, but he just stays there. Kirby goes to him and tries to pull him up off the ground. I sigh and teleport away into a puff of diamonds.

 _Honestly…_ I think to myself. _That boy has to start fighting like a man._

I return to Skyworld. Ugh… just saying its name makes me sick to my stomach. It brings up… bad memories. ...Anywho, I enter into my new domain.

"RAAA!" I hear an annoying voice scream.

I glare up and see my other "son" trying to fight me… again. I dodge out of the way and he (since he and his brother still aren't able to fly) hits the ground. A large red bump appears on his head. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. He was still mad yes, but he looked like a complete imbecile. I pinched my forehead out of irritation.

"Good morning, Pit." I say sarcastically.

"Shut up!" He yells. "Don't treat me like that! We're not family and we never will be!"

I rolled my eyes. A simple "good morning" would have sufficed. But no. Instead, Pit got up and raised his dual blades. He looked at me as if he had something to prove. He was about to do something stupid… again. (I'm beginning to notice a pattern here…)

"For the sake of all Skyworld, I want you to face me in mortal comb-"

"Pit! Stop trying to fight your father and help Phosphora make breakfast!" The Goddess called.

Both I and the angel looked at the woman as she entered the room. She seemed upset with Pit, but after about the one hundreth time of telling him to stop picking a fight, I would be too. Pit looked at me with a hateful glare and then back to the goddess with a sad face on.

"But Lady Palutena! He's evil! He's a jerk! He's not even apart of our game! You can't just-"

"Enough!" The Goddess interrupted. "Pit, you promised you would help Phosphora make breakfast. Right now, she's making it all by herself!"

Pit glared back at me. His expression still upset. Finally, he slowly began to head towards the kitchen. Once he left out of sight, it was just the goddess and I. I look at the goddess only to see that she was already looking at me. Now that I was looking at her, she quickly turned away. A light red blush ran across her face. I sigh. So THAT'S where Dark Pit gets it from.

"Good morning…" I say as I walk into her line of view.

She stumbles backwards a bit, surprised that I moved to where she could see me.

"G-good morning…" She said as she turned her head away from me again.

I grumbled some curse words under my breath.

 _How frustrating…_ I thought.

Although, I will admit: she's absolutely adorable, especially when she's acting shy. I vigorously, but gently, grab her face to make sure that she was specifically looking at me. The goddess reluctantly looked up.

"What?" She asked in a whiny tone.

I looked into her face quietly. The beautiful green eyes she has are mesmerising. My thumbs slowly rub against her cheeks. Her blush gets worse with every passing second. I bring her face closer to mine. Now inches away, I flash a small smile at the goddess.

"You're hopeless." I cooed. "Just me looking at makes you a nervous wreck."

The goddess takes a second to realize what I just said. Once she understood, she gave me an upset glare.

"No I'm not!" She bellowed. "I-I just… I'm not feeling well…"

I chuckle at the goddess's obvious lie. She looks away to the floor for a moment and then back to me.

"Do you… do you think this is right?" She asked.

I abruptly stopped laughing and gave the goddess a hard stare.

"What?" I ask cocking my head to the side.

Palutena took a deep breath in.

"I mean this! Our family! Our relationship! This household! I mean, for Game & Watch's sake Ghirahim, you're a demon lord! I'm a goddess! How is this even still working?! The kids! They don't like you!" She said. "I don't want this to end in shambles… I-I don't know what to do."

Tears streamed from her face.

Game & Watch in 3D, she was crying. I didn't know what I felt. Pity? Sympathy? Irritation? I didn't know what it was, but I wanted it to go away. Her crying made me extremely uncomfortable. I took a moment to come up with a rebuttal.

"...Phosphora likes me… and Dark Pit likes me more than you." I said calmly.

The look Palutena gave me was unreadable. It seemed as though she was upset but contempt at the same time.

"...I like dad…" Phosphora squeaked from the kitchen.

Pit's jaw dropped at the statement the girl gave.

"What!? How could you like him?!" He yelled.

Phosphora glared at Pit.

"Okay, fine! He can be and looks really scary sometimes, but if you talk to him a bit more and actually get to know him, he's a good guy." She said.

I smile at Phosphora and then glare back at the goddess who was wiping her tears. Not knowing what to do, I patted her head in a gentle manner, which also deeply angered Pit in the process. She clinged to me and gave me an unwanted hug. I looked at her with surprise. I didn't know she could get this upset.

"...What's with the crying?" Dark Pit called.

Standing in the doorway, Dark Pit, Kirby, and Mr. Strife entered the house. Cloud looked around in confusion.

"Is this a bad time?" He asked. "Cause I can come back later."

Kirby looked at Palutena and then at me. He could obviously tell that there was tension. I looked at Dark Pit and then back to his two friends.

"Actually yes, this is a bad time." I say.

Dark Pit groans. Cloud and Kirby nod and look at one another. Then, Kirby jumps into Cloud's arms. He smiles and starts to walk away.

"We'll come back later. Come on Kirby." Cloud said.

Dark Pit give me a dirty look and begins to follow them. I feel something elses eating at me once he starts walking with the two of them.

"Dark Pit, get back here." I find myself saying. "We have to talk… as a family."

Dark Pit looked back at me and sighed. He then flipped me off! The nerve!

"This is your problem you fix it!" He bellowed as he continued to walk.

I push the goddess away and teleport right in front of him. He tried to run around me, but I caught his arm and started to haul him back to the temple. He pulled and struggled to break away from my grasp, but I hold on with great force. In the distance, I saw Cloud and Kirby looking back at the two of us. Cloud quickly covered up Kirby's eyes and hurried away. I grunt in anger at the sheer embarrassment of having to drag my son back home. Once inside, I throw him on the ground. He looks up at me and scowls.

"What the hell's your problem!?" Dark Pit yelled. "Don't you fucking get it? I don't want to be here!"

Palutena slowly walked towards Dark Pit.

"Dark Pit, please. We need to talk about this." She pleaded.

His head quickly turned to her.

"Go to hell! I hate you!" He snapped. "Stop acting like you understand me, cause you don't!"

Pit rushed up to Dark Pit.

"Don't talk to Lady Palutena that way!" He bellowed. "Have more respect, jerk!"

Dark Pit got up and personal to Pit's face.

"Bite me, jackass!" He scoffed.

Palutena got in between the two and Phosphora cowered behind the doors of the kitchen. The two angels soon began to claw at one another, trying to harm the other while the goddess kept both of them at bay. She struggled to keep both of them apart. Phosphora rushed out of the kitchen and started panicking to me about this. Viridi eventually came downstairs. She was in the middle of "work" (stalking skychild) when all this yelling erupted downstairs. She wanted everyone to stop and make up so she could stalk skychild in piece. The yelling got louder and louder until finally something within me snapped.

"ENOUGH!" I snapped.

Everyone stopped and looked at me. Dark Pit crossed his arms and looked away from Pit and pit followed suit. Palutena put her hands on her hips and glared at the two of them. Viridi crossed her arms and sat down on the ground with an unamused look. Phosphora flinched as I yelled. She went and stood next to Palutena. I felt myself gritting my teeth.

"Pit, go to your room." I said angrily. "I will speak to you later."

Pit seemed as though he wanted to argue, but Palutena covered his mouth with her own hand.

"Pit. Upstairs. NOW." She said in a serious tone. "If not, you can kiss your room goodbye and can sleep in the dungeons."

Pit gasped dramatically. Palutena knows that Pit hates the dungeons, so it was a fitting punishment. Pit looked at me, then at Dark Pit, and back to Palutena. Then, he started rushing upstairs.

"I hate you all!" He sobbed as he climbed the stairs.

A loud slam could be heard in the upstairs hallway. Palutena glared at Viridi and Phosphora.

"You too. Upstairs now." She said.

Phosphora sniffled and yet again, that feeling returned to me. She was upset, but what's worse, she didn't even do anything. I felt a frown grow on my face. It pained me to see her head upstairs in such a distraught fashion. Palutena patted my back. She must've known what I felt… whatever it was. Viridi looked at Dark Pit with disgust and then started heading upstairs.

"Why do you always cause trouble, Dark Pit?" She asked.

Dark Pit turned away from her.

"Viridi! Hush!" I yelled. "Must you always have the last word?"

Viridi is major pain. She's always egging people on and never knows when to stop until it gets out of hand. It's not like she can defend herself very well either so the reason she continues to act this way is beyond me. Perhaps for attention? I don't know, but it needs to stop.

Once both of them are gone, Palutena and I look at Dark Pit. He looks at us with an irritated face.

"So, are you gonna yell at me now?" He asked sarcastically.

As much as I wanted to, I was far too busy to yell at him. I came to work on my plans not to deal with my idiotic, selfish, problematic son.

"No. Get out of my face and into your room. I can't stand looking at you right now." I hissed.

Palutena covered her mouth. I was the one who usually started yelling at Dark Pit. For me not to yell at him was a surprise to her. Dark Pit glared angrily at me as if he had a comeback planned for when I said yes.

"Fine! I didn't want to be down here anyways." He said. "In fact, I NEVER wanted to be apart of this stupid family! I never asked to be born!"

"That's exactly your problem! You, you, you! It's _**never**_ about anyone else with you is it? It's all about you! Your problems are _**so**_ much bigger than everyone else's and your life it _**so**_ difficult! It's hard to be **provided for** and surrounded by people **who love you unconditionally.** But news flash Dark Pit: **You're one of the lucky ones!** There are billions of people your age that would love to be in your shoes! Hell, at your age, I would kill to be in your position!" I raged.

Palutena looked at me. What I was saying was what I felt I should say. Dark Pit was on top of the stairway. He seemed to not like what I said at all. He looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, he ran into his room and slammed the door. I grunted once I heard the sound. I've just about had it with these insignificant brats! I sigh and head into my study. Palutena raises her hand to stop me, but then lowers it. She left me to work and work I did.

 **0800**

Hours of planning have worn me out. My magnificent white hair is all messy and I'm barely awake. Palutena has been in the living room since seven thirty folding cloths from the laundry. She turns to look at me in my study occasionally.

She loves me… truly.

...But do I love her?

No.

Yes.

It's complicated.

No because I have to focus on reviving my master, Demise and taking over Skyworld once and for all. Yes because she's sweet, and I at least have a loving daughter (i.e. Phosphora) to take care of.

My plans will drown out this whole idea of having a family. But at the same time, having a family will undermine my ability to revive Demise and bring destruction to the world.

Now I know how the goddess feels…

What should I do?

All these plans… will they make me truly happy? Or is all I need…

Why am I so attached to these vermin!? What's happening to me!?

 **0900**

Viridi, Palutena, and I had a talk. It was very uneventful at first, but as we started cracking Viridi, she started to cry. Palutena said she would handle it, so I went ahead and left.

Maybe Phosphora is ready to be spoken to?

 **0915**

Phosphora and I had a very emotional talk. She asked why we as a family were always fighting. Was it because of Dark Pit? Me? Was it all of us? What can't we be a normal family? I didn't know the answer to any of these questions. I instead hugged her. It was all I could think to do. She started to cry on me.

Huh, so I suppose I'm her shoulder to cry on. Good to know.

I held her for quite sometime. Finally, Palutena came in and asked Phosphora to come downstairs. She had something planned for the whole family. She told me to first 'man up'

(whatever the hell that means) and talk to Pit and Dark Pit.

As much as I don't want to, what choice do I have?

 **0945**

Pit and Dark Pit gave me a much harder time. For one thing, Kirby was present in the room. Pit immediately started tattling on Dark Pit. He said that he warned him against bringing Kirby into the room. He also informed me that Cloud was here for a brief moment. Though Dark Pit deliberately disobeyed me, I didn't say anything about the matter. I sat down on the floor and waited for Pit to stop and realize why I was here. Once he did, the room became completely quiet. No one said anything for a very long time. Finally, Pit began speaking. His voice wavered with every word. He was on the brink of bursting into tears.

"...I'm sorry." He said quietly looking down. "I've been a jerk to you lately, and… and that's not right. Even if you are a Zelda character, Lady Palutena chose you for a reason…"

He paused and looked at me. An angered expression appeared on his face. A single tear dropped from his face.

"I don't like you but for Lady Palutena's sake… I can make an attempt on accepting you." He said with a sniffle towards the end.

I smiled. It's a start.

Both I and Pit looked at Dark Pit now, who was playing with Kirby while the two of us were talking. It was as if the two of us weren't even there to him. I was beside myself with anger. Pit took Kirby from Dark Pit.

"Dad's talking to you! Listen!" Pit said as he wiped more tears from his eyes.

Dark Pit glared at me.

"Look, whatever you have to say, just say it. Don't waste my time, jerk off." Dark Pit grumbled.

I slapped him across the face, but then hugged him.

"The more you act like an outcast to your own family the more you will become one." I told him. "Like I said, you're lucky. You are actually wanted were you are."

Dark Pit pushed away from me, but seemed thoroughly surprised. What I said seemed to get to him. Pit also cocked his head to the side.

"You weren't wanted?" Pit asked. "But you're the demon lord. Someone wanted you!"

I laughed at Pit's reasoning.

"No one." I said abruptly. " No one at all."

Pit stayed silent and then looked at Dark Pit. Both of them stayed silent. I started to talk.

"Look, I know I'm a very… different kind of father. But make no mistake when I say that I'm here for you both as well as your sisters and your mother. It isn't in your flesh, your bone, or your blood that makes me your father. And no, it certainly isn't the DNA either. Different games aside, it will always be true. It's… in your hearts. Each and everyone of you is precious to me."

At this point, Pit's eyes were watering. Dark Pit continued to stare at me with this angered face on, but tears were streaming from his face. I grabbed both of them and hugged them. A feeling awakened within me. It was a warm feeling. If only I knew what is was.

"Whether you want to believe that or not is entirely up to you." I say as I caressed both of them within the hug.

Pit's arm wrapped around me as he starts crying.

"I-I still don't believe it! But… WAH!" He cried.

Dark Pit never wrapped his arms around me, but he did start silently crying.

"...You're the worst" He said as he shut his eyes tightly.

I smiled.

"I'm aware." I chuckled.

1035

Once we went downstairs, Palutena announced that tonight would become family night (much to Dark Pit's disliking). She also announced that we would be watching The Steel Diver Movie.

I heard from Marth that the movie was splendid. So suppose I could watch it. Besides, I've worked to hard.

Popcorn was made, laughs were shared, and once more, everyone enjoyed the movie.

Moments like these make me wonder if taking over Hyrule of even worth the exchange of the ones I've grown to love.

 **Sorry for not posting in awhile… I got hit with life and I needed to recover from the bruise. But anyway, the next few chapters will be from Dark Pit's perspective. Bayonetta will be implemented even more in the next chapter too. Thank you for your time and don't forget to review! (** ੭ु **˙)** ੭ु⁾⁾


	20. Chapter 20

**Tuesday 3:23 p.m.**

Fuck me, man.

Holy fuck…

No words can describe the bullshit I experienced today. I don't even know what Bayonetta has in store for me… and just what the fuck is a Noctis?

Shit. I don't even know what my day was anymore, but I'm fucking glad to be back home in my room alone.

Well, almost alone, Kirby's here too.

Fuck it. Let's start from the very fucking beginning.

To start the day off, I was given a Saturday detention today in class. For what? Passing notes in class. It pissed me off to know that Mr. McCloud really didn't see that I was told by Cloud to pass a note to Shulk (And no, that polygon-haired prick got off scot free while I got a detention! He's really damn lucky that I'm no snitch, not like that faggot Robin). I didn't know what the two of them were even talking about, but I actually wanted to pay attention in class today (there's a test on Friday and I'll be damned if I fail another test because I didn't study), so I went along with it.

I mean, as long as whatever Cloud wrote wasn't about me then I'm fine.

As I'm handing the note to Shulk, I notice that Robin's looking me down. I look back at him while I'm reaching over to Shulk. I mouthed "What?" as I reached over to him. Then, that asshole rose his hand.

What a fucking snitch!

That asshole literally sat there and called "Mr. McCloud! Dark Pit is passing notes in class!" I can't believe him! What are we? Fucking second-graders? The rest of the dumbshits in the class had the audacity to look like they just weren't informed that I was passing notes in class.

Fuck all of you.

Mr. McCloud walks over to my desk in that way he always does when someone interrupts his lecture, his tail waving around furiously. Then he puts out his hand, expecting me to put the note there.

(I swear, I wanted to give him the one finger salute so badly.)

I gave him the note and he fucking sntached if from my hands then instead of stashing it away like all the other notes passed in his class, that asshole goes on to read it in front of the entire class. Now, I figured that Cloud wouldn't have written anything that'd be held against me, so I was sitting pretty smug in my desk, waiting for Fox to spill what the note said.

I was fucking wrong.

The note was in all Japanese, a language I'm still learning to speak. You see, in Nintendo territory, you're required to learn Japanese. Hell, it can be the only language you speak, I mean, look at Takamaru. He still doesn't know a damn word of English.

But the point being, I didn't know what the note said. But Mr. McCloud sure as hell did.

He gave me a look at first. You know how a dodongo looks after you poke the glass one too many times at the zoo? Yeah, that's how he looked. I felt pretty sure that whatever was on that note, Fox was not down with that shit. I looked over at Cloud only to see that he was writing down the notes and acting as if he didn't write anything on it. Fox then asked me something the really pissed me off. The fox fuck has the audacity to ask me why can't I be a good student like me friend, Cloud.

Cloud? A good student?

Good student my ass! It's only because Cloud's able to be sneaky about all the rules he breaks! For fuck's sake, he gets into fights everyday! I looked Cloud down, waiting for him to say something to back me up.

Instead, he just glaced at me and shrugged. Though no one else could tell that Cloud's expression was different (his resting "I don't give a fuck face still seemed present"), I knew that Cloud was actually pretty worried. How? His foot. It's a dead giveaway that when Cloud's scared or worried, he'll tap his foot. I saw it and then realized what Cloud was trying to motion. That fuck wanted me to take the fall for him!

I REALLY should've snitched, but I didn't.

I could use this to my advantage. I help Cloud out, and in return, he has to owe me one. It perfect, right? An eye for an eye.

So, I just stayed quiet and let Fox continue yelling at me. The whole class was just watching too. The worst part being, I'm pretty sure that asshole Robin was loving this.

Well you know what, He can fucking laugh his ass off today, but you know the saying: snitches get fucking stitches and end up becoming bitches. I'm getting him back for it. That's a promise.

Fox went on and on about how I shouldn't be saying such horrid things about another student, to which I glared at Cloud again. He didn't respond, giving me that "I'm not interested" face as he looked down at his textbook.

The least that dickhead could've done was fill me in on what the fuck he said! Who the hell as he even talking about? Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ashley peering over at me.

Shit.

She probably thinks I'm an asshole now.

Fox ended his lecture with slamming a detention slip onto my desk. With that, the bell rang and everyone left the room. Sonic and Mac were the first to come up to me. I was honestly expecting them to chew me out for whatever Cloud said, but no.

The two of them actually said it was pretty cool what I said. Sonic understood all of it (Mac, like me, is still learning the language) and said that I was pretty straightforward about the matter. Mac said that all he understood was the _Kuso_ and the _Tawagoto._ (Which I learned soon after meant Shit and Nonsense respectively.) I looked to Cloud for an explanation, but only got a shit-eating grin.

Something tells me he planned this, is if for the initiation?

Damn, not knowing any of this is a pain. I hate how Cloud's just executing what Bayonetta asked him to do. I don't even know what he's planning anymore. Kirby knows but won't tell me. Cloud said he told the entire plan to Kirby, but whenever I try to ask him, the puffball just runs off or shakes his head.

Dammit, Kirby! Whose side are you on?

Lucina, on the other hand, was pretty miffed about what I said. I don't know why because she avoided me the rest of the day. Now, although Cloud's reassured me that it wasn't anything about her, I'm still pretty sure that won't change the fact that she hates my guts.

But, you know… It's really not my problem. She can be mad if she wants.

At the end of the day, Ashley confronted me. She seemed pretty happy about "what I said". It was cool how I was willing to stand up for my friend like that.

I still don't know what that note said, but since Ashley thought I was cool because of it, I just went with it. We talked the whole way home, partly about school, partly about daily life, and I'm pretty sure Ashley brought up some guitar called Nevan. When we got to her house, she asked if I wanted to come over the next day.

I wanted to say no, but before I could, that queer Ghirahim appeared behind me, grabbing my shoulders with his filthy ass hands. He said I'd love to go and then poof. We were in the living room of our house. He looked me down with a weird look before walking away. Mom was going to cook spaghetti when she got back was the only other words he said to me.

Fucking hell, I don't know about that guy anymore. One minute, he's preparing an onslaught of attacks on Hyrule and then the next, he's saying shit like that. Like he's an honest to goodness dad.

The only bad part about it is that I have to make the spaghetti sauce, so that's a bitch.

Speaking of which, I'd better do it before dad yells at me again.

That's all for now

~Dark Pit~

 **Author's Note: I'm sorry for being dead all this time! Something really big happened to me last year and prevented me from staying consistent with posting. I'll try to post as often as I can this year to make up for it! Again, I apologize for keeping you all waiting!**

 **(** **｡•** **́** **︿•** **̀** **｡** **)**

 **But I thank everyone who didn't give up hope in another chapter! As always, thank you and don't forget to review!**

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